I dislike extremism (I've been on the receiving end of it too much myself, particularly from right-wing/fundamentalist neo-Christians claiming all sorts of unrelated things will happen from allowing same gender marriage), but I consider that, in this case, there is a direct link between society's views and the behaviour of people. This link is similar to the violence against LGBTIQ people exhibited by SOME neo-Christians in response to anti-homosexuality pronouncements by the Pope. The violence exhibited in response to society's encouragement of jealopusy is more often emotional, mental, verbal and psychic, rather than physical, but those forms of violence can be as damaging as physical violence - or more (I have buried people driven to suicide by verbal violence in the form of discrimination).
A FAR more constructive approach to the personal insecurity underlying the "does he/she/ze love me?" would be:
(1) ask the other person(s);
(2) work out ways that each party in the relationship understands are the other's way of showing love, and take note of what other party(ies) want to experience;
(3) deal with your personal insecurity/fear/lack of confidence directly, until you feel pleasure when your partner(s) is(are)experiencing pleasure (see here - and, by the way, not everyone feels jealousy!).
That last one would be a particularly big one, given the extent to which many people seem to go to in order to avoid facing their personal demons (drink, drugs, denial, etc). Might have to have some social engineering to enable us to get over that one - just as, here in Australia, we needed social engineering (plus legislation) to get people to start wearing seat belts and avoid driving while under the influence of alcohol ... or we needed social engineering in the form of schools to make sure most people could read and write ... or we need social engineering in the form of public education camapaigns to control the spread of HIV/AIDS and increase awareness of mental health issues ... or social enegineering in the form of lobbying politicians to legalise homosexuality (in the 70s and 80s in Victoria) or extend antidiscrimination legislation to protect other at-risk groups (which I was involved in during the late 90s/early 00s).
Social engineering in the form of "public" schools basically led to the British Empire and its attendant issues and problems: any time someone wants to object to social engineering, I point out that it has already been done, and what is being advocated now is really just undoing the bad social engineering that has already been done.
Doubt that? Do some research on rates of sexual jealousy in hunter-gatherer societies.
In my view, jealousy, as we know it, is predominantly a socially engineered construct.
"King-hit killer jailed for 10 years", The Age, 16th August, 2011: http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/kinghit-killer-jailed-for-10-years-20110816-1ivhf.html
Love, light, hugs and blessings
Gnwmythr
(pronounced "new-MYTH-ear")
Tags: attitudes, emotions, relationships, society, social engineering,
First published: Sunnudagr, 21st August, 2011
Last edited: Sunday, 21st August, 2011
