Well, I've come back from Dad's funeral now. As far as this blog goes, I will eventually get back to my normal life; as far as my normal life goes, I will probably go through, as well as grieving, the same soul searching I did when Mum died: if anything, it may prompt me to find a way of making the change of day job I want to happen - or to try to :)
The funeral has brought some of us closer together, which has been good. On the other hand, the travelling has confirmed how bad domestic air travel is, and that I should continue to avoid it as much as possible - but that is a matter for another time.
Although it is not really relevant to this blog, I would like to honour my father by posting his eulogy here. I then checked, and found I didn't do that for Mum when I wrote about her funeral, so I will add hers as well. (I've taken out or modified some names for privacy reasons - I referred to living people by name, and do not have their permission to do so here - and would not ask it: it is more important they be allowed to grieve) I've added a few links.
I'm never happy with something like this - it is so hard to reduce decades of living down to a few minutes of talking, but I'm pleased that others asked for copies of the eulogies: it must have meant something to them. In the case of Dad's eulogy, people were sharing stories about his life as well afterwards, so I feel like it worked.
Courtesy of being adopted I have one more parent left: my birth Mum (my birth father died before I found them).
If this is of no interest to you, please feel free to move on by :)
I also wish to repeat a comment I made here, abut those whose experience of family is not as healthy as mine has been.
"And yes, all this is being written by the woman who keeps giving warnings about families, how they aren’t all good, and they don’t have the right to control people, etc.
Why?Well, I know people who have suffered through some appalling families, but the situation is also a little akin to someone I’ve said about relationships and domestic violence. I am of the view that partners in a relationship should have enough financial and other reserves to be able to leave if they need to (or want to). That should be an example set, in particular, by those in good relationships – who can agree to do so without rancour or stress. That leads to people who are in bad relationships being able to hold them up as an example, and perhaps say “well, relationship X is solid, and they’ve done this, so I think we should as well, to also set an example”. That would work in possibly only a low percentage of abusive relationships, but that’s better than nothing, and maybe it will lead to people automatically making sure they have enough to leave before they go into a relationship.Similarly, it is most impactful if people who have good family situations say “hey, I know I’m on a good thing here, but I appreciate it, and I know that not everyone is as fortunate, so we shouldn’t put pressure on those people by being insensitive, or presumptuous, or put them in a situation of having to say ‘hey, well, my situation isn’t/wasn’t so good, you know’ ”."
Love, light, hugs and blessings
Copy of my (adoptive) father's eulogy
Copy of my (adoptive) mother's eulogy