Today’s post is going to be one of those posts where I dump a few ideas
that I haven’t been able to develop into full posts (often, because of lack of time or energy). What I’m going to cover
is:
- flaws of the ancient Stoics;
- “smarty-pants”;
- choosing a lifestyle to enable one to be oneself;
- reality shows;
- what is success or failure, and who decides?; and
- let down by the hippies.
First, up, the ancient Stoics …
Flaws of the ancient Stoics
Now, I am using the term ‘Stoic’ in the sense that it was used prior to
the last few centuries: now, it is viewed as someone who is unemotional, but
the term used to refer to a particular school of philosophical thought (as did
‘Epicurean’, and other words we apply particular meanings to nowadays). The
ancient Stoics were probably more akin to modern Buddhists - aiming to be happy
in life, which includes living life by the Serenity Prayer:
Goddess, grant
me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to
change the things I can,
And wisdom to
know the difference.
In particular, the ancient Stoics considered it important to accept
that there are things we cannot change in the world, and thus develop what I
would term equanimity.
That is quite true, but it is also important, I consider, to note that:
(a) there are things you can change in the world;
and
(b) where the
cut-off point is for people may not be clear - and it will shift depending on
circumstances, including the state that the person is in (e.g., if you learn
new skills, your capacity to change things may increase … and then it may
decrease if you become ill, or have to focus on caring for ill or elderly
relatives, for instance).
Having the courage to try and genuinely
find where that cut-off is, is something that I consider too few people do.
“Smarty-pants”
To begin with, I would actually normally call this something
else (smart-something … ), but I’m still determined not to have to set up an
adult content filter :)
The inspiration for this comes from an article I found on LinkedIn: "DropBox’s hiring practices explain its disappointing lack of female employees", by Vivek Wadhwa on 17th February, 2014. For those of you able to access Linked In, the article can be found here, and on the author's website, there is this link.
What I found particularly significant is the following comment, about
so-called ‘quirky’ questions that some interviewers like to use (e.g. “What is a superpower you would give
to your best friend?”):
“The problem is
that such questions are fun only for people who understand the jokes — and who
can think like the young men doing the interviews.
They don’t lead
to better hiring outcomes as Google learned. Its senior vice president for
people operations, Laszlo Bock, said last June in an interview with New York
Times, “…we found that brainteasers are a complete waste of time. How many golf
balls can you fit into an airplane? How many gas stations in Manhattan? A
complete waste of time. They don’t predict anything. They serve primarily to
make the interviewer feel smart.”
Such hiring
practices also disadvantage women. They hurt the employer by limiting the
talent pool. They fortify the male dominated frat-boy culture that Silicon
Valley is increasingly being criticized for.”
If I was asked that sort of question in a job interview, I would
possibly walk out, because of what it reveals about the workplace culture – i.e.,
an attitude of being ‘smarty-pants’. If you want to ask a question about my
creativity, then ask it about something related to work – I may, after all, not
be creative in other areas of my life, but I may be very creative in my field
of work. (Provided, of course, the
company concerned does not try to take advantage of others and get some free
advice – as some unethical, unscrupulous places have apparently done ... )
To not do so is to abuse one’s power, and to fail to be proportionate
in how one chooses to impact on others.
Choosing a lifestyle to enable one to be oneself
I was recently reading the brilliant T. Thorne Coyle's blog, and in this
post found the following comment:
"I had one
abortion in my early 20s. A condom broke. It happens. The abortion wasn’t easy.
It was necessary. I vowed to never have to go through one again.
That abortion saved
my life.
Not my physical
life, but it saved my life nonetheless, enabling me to work toward the life I
have now, one which (I hope) contributes and gives back. That abortion also
saved the life of whatever child that fetus would have turned into. It saved
that child from a life of poverty and difficulty. It saved that child from a
parent who didn’t want it and who still needed years to work through the abuse
from her own childhood."
I consider that, sometimes, people’s responses to others’ choices
around lifestyle are basically resentment that the others have had the temerity
to not go along with what society expected of them. I first came across this
that I can remember – albeit in reverse - when I overheard a couple of older
women discussing modern underwear, and saying “well, that must be all they need to wear, then”. The tone of her
voice was sad, full of regret for what could have been if she had seen an
option other than going along with the very constrained, supported and altered
shape prescribed by society’s overwhelming presumption of girdles and the like
when she was younger. Both of those older women summed up their attitude with a
“good on ‘em”, but many people I know
don’t – especially when it comes to choosing not to have children. There is an
element of viciousness – and also elements of condescension and patronising – in
the voices of those who condemn those who do not have children, an element of “how dare they choose other opportunities? I
didn’t! I know – I’ll call them selfish”. This attitude also, of course,
has the side outcome of making the situation of those who want to have children
and are unable to do so infinitely worse – such views are particularly a case
of ‘rubbing the other’s nose in it’ to the childless women and men who are
unable to have children.
(I also object strenuously to the
expectation of those who choose to have children that others who have
child-free lifestyles will submit those VALID child-free lifestyles to the petty
whims and desires of the CHOSEN child-included lifestyle. As an example,
any such person who expected me to rearrange my home and life so that it is
child-safe will get very short shrift – and be lucky if I am polite about it.
And then there is the issue of over-population and the environmental damage
done by that … especially when the excessive numbers of children are in Western
societies … )
The main area of my life where this has been an issue is that of where
to live – which, in my case, is best done on the water. This is the reason I
never bought a house or unit when I was younger. Having then lived on the water
(in a boat that was too small, but which
I managed to fit water recycling on to – my day job has its benefits!) for
the best part of a decade (commuting to
work), I made the mistake of underappreciating the importance of that when
I moved ashore. Now, having had to give my boat to others, I am looking at many
years before I can start spending some time back on the water. As my quote from
F. W. Boreham puts it:
“We make our
decisions. And then our decisions turn around and make us.”
This is so important, being true to oneself, as, if you get it wrong,
you can literally wind up ill, or driving yourself insane through the
incompatible energies and other effects of trying to live something that you
are not – as too many LGBTIQ people discover, prior to coming to terms with
themselves.
"Reality" TV shows
I normally avoid such rubbish like the plague (in fact, I don’t have much time to watch ANY television), but I
unfortunately caught part of one such show where a childish woman was saying
that a food dish which was to be based on lamb shanks had to have to bone in it
“because everyone loves marrow”.
Bull.
Not only is that sort of attitude WRONG and GROSSLY IMMATURE, it is
PRECISELY the sort of thinking I was alluding to earlier, when I was discussing
the importance of choosing a lifestyle that is compatible with oneself. That
woman’s attitude contributes to the small-mindedness and expectation of
society, the pressure on people that drives LGBTIQ kids to commit suicide or
self harm, and LGBTIQ people of all ages to have problems caused by
discrimination. It shows a failure to cope with difference, and, as I’ve
written elsewhere, that is the ultimate source of what is termed ‘evil’.
I wonder how the producers etc of such shows and the network executives
responsible for them will find the karma for their evil when they meet it in
future lifetimes … (or this!)
What is success or failure, and who decides?
I recently read a review of the next book of the so-called “Tiger
Mother” (see http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/feb/07/truth-about-tiger-mothers-family-amy-chua).
Now, I haven’t read either of these books, and don’t have any desire to, but
the thought that struck me about the review is that the whole approach – both that
of the so-called “Tiger Mother” and the reviewer’s – were predicated on the
idea that physical things matter more than spiritual. They do also address
emotional issues, and there are some conflicting world views on that level (for the record, I consider that of the so-called
“Tiger Mother” to be dangerously flawed because it is so limited in
understanding of people), but neither seems to be aware that there is more
to life.
Let down by the hippies
Something I have often thought about the ‘hippies’ of the sixties is
that, when they packed everything away to become mainstream, they made all that
they had claimed and said – every single last bit of it – a facile childish
prank. I’d always been square in that decade, but my beliefs were actually
quite genuine and thus, when I did start
to change, slowly, and in response to life’s lessons, I consider that I
maintained my credibility more than those hippies who went mainstream (some didn’t, by the way).
Conclusion
So … what to be drawn from all this? Be true to yourself – don’t let
society or your peers dictate to you how to live or what to do.
And this is all definitely a case of: do as I say, not as I do :)
[1] BPLF = Balanced Positive (spiritual) Light Forces. See here and here for more on this.
[2] Please see here and my post "The Death of Wikipedia" for the reasons I now recommend caution when using Wikipedia. I'm also exploring use of h2g2, although that doesn't appear to be as extensive (h2g2 is intended - rather engagingly - to be the Earth edition of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy").
Love, light, hugs and blessings
[2] Please see here and my post "The Death of Wikipedia" for the reasons I now recommend caution when using Wikipedia. I'm also exploring use of h2g2, although that doesn't appear to be as extensive (h2g2 is intended - rather engagingly - to be the Earth edition of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy").
Love, light, hugs and blessings
(pronounced "new-MYTH-ear"; ... aka Bellatrix Lux? Morinehtar? Would-be drýicgan ... )
My "blogiography" (list of all posts - currently not up to date) is here.
I started this blog to cover karmic regression-rescue (see here and here), and it grew ... See here for my group mind project, here and here for my "pagans for peace" project (and join me at 9 PM on Sunday, wherever you are, to meditate for peace), and here for my bindrune kit-bag. I also strongly recommend learning how to flame, ground and shield, do alternate nostril breathing, work with colour - and see also here, and be flexible.
I am a Walker upon the Path of Balanced Positivity, seeking Spiritual Maturity.
- One size does NOT fit all.
- Don't be mediocre - seek to excel.
- Gnwmythr's Stropping Strap: Occam's Razor only works if the simplest solution is actually recognised as being the simplest, rather than the one that best fits one's bigotries being labelled 'simplest'.
- May the world of commerce and business be recognised to be a servant, not a master, of the lives of people.
- Ban the dream interpretation industry!
- A home is for living in, not feeling, becoming or being rich or a “better” class than others.
- Housework is for ensuring a home is comfortable to live in, not competing to outdo or belittle others.
- Being accustomed to interacting via certain rules makes those rules neither right nor universal.
- Like fire to the physical, emotions to the soul make a good servant, and a bad master.
- Expertise at intimacy and emotional happiness is generally not the same thing as spiritual growth.
- "Following the crowd" is not "going with the flow".
- Armageddon is alive and well and happening right now: it is a battle between the indolence of "I only ..." and/or "I just ..." and/or "Everyone knows ... " and/or "they can ..." and what Bruce Schneier [2] calls "security theatre" on one side, and perspicacity and the understanding that the means shape the end on the other. Indolence vs. perspicacity, and expediency vs. honour.
- The means shape the end.
- As words can kill, the right to freedom of speech comes with a DUTY to be as well-informed, objective and balanced as you can be.
- My favourite action movie of all time is "Gandhi", although I've recently come across "Invictus" and might put that one in to that category. However, I loathe the stereotypical action movie - and, for similar reasons, I loathe many dramas, which are often emotionally violent, more so in some cases than many war films.
- All of the above - and this blog - could be wrong, or subject to context, perspective, or state of spiritual evolution ...
Do not pray for easy
lives. Pray to be stronger [people]. JOHN F. KENNEDY (who was quoting 19th
century Episcopal Bishop Phillips Brooks)
We make our decisions. And then our decisions turn around and make us. F.W. BOREHAM
Females, get over 'cute'. Get competent. Get trained. Get capable. Get over 'cute'. And those of you who are called Patty and Debby and Suzy, get over that.
Because we use those names to infantalise females – we keep females in
their 'little girl' state by the names we use for them. Get over it. If
you want to be taken seriously, get serious. JANE ELLIOTT
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good [people] to do nothing. (based on writing by) EDMUND BURKE
"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." EINSTEIN
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good [people] to do nothing. (based on writing by) EDMUND BURKE
"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." EINSTEIN
We didn't inherit the Earth from our ancestors, we only borrowed it from our children ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPÉRY
Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar; it is not haphazard and superficial. It comes to see that an edifice which produces beggars needs restructuring. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
Those whom we cannot stand are usually those who we cannot understand P.K.SHAW
Few men are willing to brave the disapproval of their fellows, the censure of their colleagues, and the wrath of their society. Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential, vital quality for those who seek to change a world which yields most painfully to change." SENATOR ROBERT F. KENNEDY (US Attorney General 1966 Speech)
Too
much and too long, we seem to have surrendered community excellence and
community values in the mere accumulation of material things. Our gross
national product ... if we should judge America by that -- counts air
pollution and cigarette advertising, and ambulances to clear our
highways of carnage. ... Yet the gross national product does not allow
for the health of our children, the quality of their education, or the
joy of their play. It does not include the beauty of our poetry or the
strength of our marriages; the intelligence of our public debate or the
integrity of our public officials. It measures neither our wit nor our
courage; neither our wisdom nor our learning; neither our compassion nor
our devotion to our country; it measures everything, in short, except
that which makes life worthwhile." ROBERT F. KENNEDY 1968
Tags: arrogance, children, family, life lessons, lifestyles, peer pressure, self knowledge, social engineering, socialisation, Stoicism, superiority, values,
First published: Manadagr, 24th February, 2014
Last edited (excluding fixing typo's and other minor matters): Monday, 24th February, 2014
