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For this blog I am
using my spirit or craft name: Gnwmythr, which is pronounced “new-MYTH-ear” –
the “w” is pronounced in the Welsh way, as “oo”. Why? Because that’s how it
came through, in a dream many years ago (in the 1980s) – I woke up with the pronunciation, the
fact that it started with a “G”, and found a version with a Qabbalistic
numerology that suits my tasks in this life and a style that links to some of
my heritage - which includes Welsh, Irish, Cornish, Scottish, English, German,
Silesian, a dash of Danish :) , and Wiradjuri-Widjabul.
It’s not quite right,
actually, but it is key to my spiritual and psychic identity.
And on identity, I
identify these days, after many variations, as an “Earth Empath” - I sense
energy: earth and nature-based energies, past life energies, the energy of
earthbound entities, auras, etc. I use that sensing, and the training and
experience I have had since the early 1980s, in a range of ways – which I outlined
on the (now discontinued, after I moved into retirement - my day job had left me with no energy/health to continue those) “Offerings” page.
In terms of energy, I
have had an awareness of nonphysical energy most of my life. As a child, I
would pick up “happy rocks”, and then, when they wanted to go “home” or became
unhappy, I would take them back to where I had found them. That led to me
getting into crystals fairly early on in my development, but in terms of the
flow of this post it is significant that even at that relatively tender age I was aware that “everything is really
energy”, as I solemnly told my adoptive father one night, and was very strongly inclined
towards ritual and exploring spirituality. I would write my own rituals and
daily practices to follow, but I had limited examples to base these on – and I
wasn’t too happy about the mainstream faith I was raised in, partly because
they said animals didn’t have souls, and partly because of some double
standards I saw in some of its adherents. So, as I grew, I started to search
widely.
Before I go into the spiritual searching I
went through at that time, it is perhaps worth a moment to reflect on some of the
significant influences I had at that time. For a start, I am adopted, so I have
one set of genetic influences, and another set of environmental influences, and
am proud of both families. I am also very aware of the influences I have
experienced from previous lives - probably two of the most obvious are my
affinity to cats, and my love of sailing and just generally being on the water.
My connection to cats came, I suspect, from a life in Ancient Egypt as a
Priestess of Bast (no-one
famous, or even recorded in history), and my love of sailing from several lives as a sailor, including a life
in the British Navy in the 1800s (no,
I was not at Trafalgar).
That life in the British Navy was also particularly useful in introducing more
self-discipline into my psyche, and helped to balance out an earlier (definitely not good!) life as a pirate, as well as one as a
too-hedonistic poet. In this life, the physical poetry and joy of sailing –
particularly the connection with the dynamic
aspects of Nature - has helped get me through some very rough times: I consider
it has literally saved my life in at least one period (as have my creative interests – sketching and
writing).
On other past life matters, I’m also aware
that my first life as an engineer – my former day job - was in the ancient
Roman Army, and that some key lives along my spiritual path have also included
being a Druid and a monk in Tibet (again,
no-one famous or recorded in history), and a mother in the USA in a polyamorous relationship who died in childbirth. Of more recent significance, my current partner was my girlfriend when
I went out on an experimental submarine just before the First World War, a submarine
which then sank, and others in this life have been connected to my most recent
previous life, when I was a (successful
- not the most successful, mind) German night fighter pilot - for instance,
an ex-partner of mine was a crew member on one of the bombers I shot down. I
have a particular advantage with knowing about that life, in that I was recognised by one of
my former colleagues, who gave me a glider flight in the 1980s. I wasn’t ready
to come to terms with that life at that time, so didn’t
stay in touch.
In that life, I became a pilot against the
wishes of my family, but at the same time I was, to a large extent, going with “the
flow” of society. That is why I was later – i.e. in this life - to be so
vehemently against the evils of John Howard’s Prime Ministership, as I could
recognise the same sorts of social sheep behaviour as was in Nazi Germany
before the Second World War. Howard didn’t, of course, cause a war, invade
other countries or create a Holocaust, but the social tactics of “us-and-them” and, above all else, fear, could almost have come
straight out of the Nazi manual. (Howard has now been outdone by Dutton.)
There are other things I can recall from
other lives - such as my past warrior lives, my many past lives as a mother (it has been ironic, at times, to have
someone berating me for not following her views on being a mother when I have
more lives in that role than the other person!). It has been quite a journey, and that is a
good note to go back to the spiritual searching in this life, particularly that from when I was younger.
Initially I found (re-found, actually) Buddhism –
well before it became fashionable, and I found the self-discipline useful, and
the emphasis on compassion resonated with me, but, again, as with Christianity,
I found its (Western) adherents were sometimes … less than genuine
in their commitment to personal change and growth, striking me as more wanting to be different than genuinely committed. I did, however, like the
emphasis on ethics (even
if I now disagree with some of those ethical values!), and I identified as a Buddhist for several decades (from my teenage years - and had excellent discussions with a former colleague from Thailand who had spent six months as a monk).
That interest in
Buddhism led me to the controversial writings of Lobsang Rampa, an author who I
consider to have considerable metaphysical knowledge, but MAJOR flaws around same sex
and feminist issues. Nevertheless, Rampa’s books had a major influence on my
psychic and personal development (which just goes to show the
value of not necessarily accepting everything from any one source, without
discarding everything because of a few flaws - in other words: think critically
and objectively for yourself about everything). For more on Rampa, see here, here, and here.
The Yi Jing (formerly known as the I Ching) and Qabbalah were also
influences from this early time in this life.
Subsequently, in the
early 1980s I moved back from Queensland to Victoria, and began my training in
earnest.
Incidentally, I
consider that the physical moves in my life have been important, although I
don’t think I fully understand all the details of this as yet. For instance,
moving down to Melbourne when I was a baby (apparently my first flight
was in the back of a DC3 when I was just a few months old) led to a love of
cold weather, but moving back to Queensland helped me break free of city-only
viewpoints (as did many of my relatives - from both families)
and helped me develop my heavy weather sailing expertise (my experience
competing in sailing at the Sydney Gay games suggests I am just in the top
third of sailors on a worldwide basis generally, but better ranked when sailing
in decent sized waves [anything up to 20’ will do me :) ] and strong winds [up
to 40 knots is OK, 50 knots at a stretch … all in plywood dinghies and small boats, of
course :) ).
When I made that move
back to Melbourne, I explored New Age groups, spiritualism and what was termed shamanism, and started doing spirit rescues and channelled energy
healing. Since then I have run a few healing and development groups, various
workshops on past life regressions, crystals and other topics –
including, since the mid-90s, studying
runes intensively under the guidance of a Rune Master who is both greatly
skilled and a great friend. I consider the work I did with rescue (as one of several trance mediums working
with crystals up to 55 kg in size) was important, and I am of the view that it
helped to change the world at that time. I judge my spiritual accomplishments
since then against that, and have to say I consider everything I’ve done since
then to be lacking – with the possible exception of the human rights lobbying
I’ve done, mainly that in the 90s locally to change anti-discrimination law.
Going back to the time of my return to
Melbourne, I at that time left engineering, swearing never to do that work
again, but wound up back in that field after 15 months when I was low on money
and not earning much through massage - and nothing at all from my hoped for
career of writing. I have experienced some atrocious – utterly appalling - behaviour
through engineering. That, and being a member of several minority groups, has
enabled me to get a good view of society’s underbelly, and has been a key
influence on my human rights and spiritual work. On the other hand, engineering
has given the opportunity to contribute to public health and reduce
environmental impact, and to develop and refine my thinking, organising and teaching
abilities – and provide an outlet for my innovative streak (which mean spirited profit drives actively hindered).
On unpleasant things, I’ve had quite a bit of
experience, unfortunately, with receiving psychic attack. The first major
attack happened when I was still in Queensland, but I knew enough from my
Qabbalistic studies to defend myself (and
stayed friends with the person concerned: he didn’t know consciously what he
had done, and was “just” acting out of jealousy). Sadly, my experience of receiving psychic
attack has increased since I moved to the inner northern suburbs of Melbourne,
and that has done nothing to make the torment of city living any easier.
In the early 90s, when I had moved to
Frankston in order to take over a healing group, I started performing full moon
rituals with some friends – using quite an eclectic mix of Qabbalah, shamanism
and the very little I then knew of Wicca. In 2003, I attended the
National Queer Spirituality Conference in Adelaide, South Australia (I am a [trans] lesbian), and came across the Goddess and Wicca in a
serious, credible way. After the Conference, I found the no longer operating Witches Voice website, and a local
Wiccan Temple, and began
my studies. Subsequently, I have explored other Pagan paths, including Druidry
and Norse/German paganism and it was after attending the 2009 Parliament of
World Religions in Melbourne that I decided the best way to identify myself was
“pagan energy psychic”.
That is not something
that one can get, as far as I am aware, a qualification for :) . I am, however,
an initiated First Degree Priestess of one Wiccan tradition (initiated before the tradition split in two), and Third Degree and Elder in another (which I wound up over some concerns, so it no longer exists), but I have no
particular framed certificates on the wall. If you want to see such, you will
have to go elsewhere :)
My main activity since commencing this blog has been my psychic weather reports, where I determine (by dowsing) the state of balanced positive (BPM, or “good”) energies and unbalanced (nonBPM, or “bad”) energies around the globe, and suggest a plan of meditation to generate/direct/clear energies/units to attempt to improve the world’s state of being.
This is based on quite a few things, including the “Cure Violence” concept, which proposes treating physical world violence as disease epidemics are, and the balanced positive and meditation-to-guide-energy approaches described in “Briefing for the Landing on Planet Earth” .
I’m still learning in all areas of my life -
my most recent lesson is that I should have planned for a way to be able to
take life easier as I aged and my health started failing :)
I am also learning about my Indigenous heritage (a grandmother in my birth family - who I never met - who was a Wiradjuri and Widjabul woman, and an artist of some renown), and that I am neurodivergent.
I am trying to pass on what I know through this blog, with the ultimate audience being myself in future lives ...
In the meantime, there is
still plenty of spiritual work - including teaching and healing - to be done in the inner
northern suburbs of Naarm (aka Melbourne), in Bandaiyan (Australia). As a final point, I am starting to write a few more reflective pieces on my life, and will try to remember to use the “about me” label (which is Blogger’s version of hashtags).
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Remember: we generally need to be more human being rather than human doing, to mind our Mӕgan, and to acknowledge that all misgendering is an act of active transphobia/transmisia that puts trans+ lives at risk
& accept that all insistence on the use of “trans” as a descriptor
comes with commensurate use of “cis” as a descriptor to prevent “othering” (just as binary gendered [men’s and women’s] sporting teams are either both given the gender descriptor, or neither). Copyright © Kayleen White 2007-2024 NO AI
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