Post No. 2,344 - On labels and self knowledge: an introduction to "Servant of Life" (~1,400 words; 5 - 8 minute read)

All of this incarnation, it has been a struggle – perhaps a progressive struggle is a better term – to both know and be myself, and to get acceptance.

Progressive struggle as one thing leads to another, just as, say, climbing a tree or a mountain opens up the possibility of climbing a little further, using new branches or new climbing routes.

As a bit of a brief review, my life began by being adopted out – partly at the instigation of those grandparents who included my indigenous grandmother (which is ironic). I was eventually able to find my wonderful birth family (and my adoptive family are also wonderful & loving and still are a key part of my life) only after laws had been changed in Queensland and following a subsequent search – which was complicated by my being transgender.

And being trans has involved decades of struggle - from the time I was four – against officious petty tyrants, the personally insecure and too unaware to know that they have that problem, and outright bigots such as the prominent author who claims they accept those who have “medically” transitioned (because said author wants to control who comes into her club, in essence – no matter what they claim happened to them) and yet blithely continues to stir up and egg on hatred and violence towards all trans and gender diverse (TGD) people.

There’s a fair old lack of self awareness and self accountability there, in my opinion (IMO).

On that, the hypocrisy of people who claimed to be Christian but would talk about love in church on Sunday and stab people in the back on Monday is what drove me out of neochristianity as a teenager – I wrote about that in my ninth post on this blog (“On changing paths”, on the 30^th June, 2007 – and also see my 6^th post here, from the 13^th June that year, and my 5^th post here, on the same day, about living future dreams now – so these posts have a long tradition on this blog of mine).

But the struggle for social acceptance of me as a woman (which fact is the truth – spiritually, as well as psychologically, physically, and legally), particularly in the workplace, led me to the greater (but flawed) field of diversity, equity & inclusion (DEI) and human rights generally, where I have been an activist/advocate/whatever the term of the day is when you, Dear Reader, are viewing this (which may be years from the day it is being written).

As recent articles I’ve read (and included in my weekly news posts over at my political blog) have pointed out, words can kill (and bigots are intellectually inept), but words can heal and save lives as well, so I started writing letters for Amnesty International in the 1980s (which was my experience of being in a genuinely and actively caring community, in many ways).

I still am writing for human rights – albeit emails, now.

I also started projecting love to the world in the 1970s, as a result of reading the books of the controversial author T Lobsang Rampa … and I still am (projecting love, I mean).

And I am still running into obstacles to acceptance from others – sometimes from those who have good or at least reasonable cause to be cautious.

As an example, I know what “nations” my Indigenous connections are with, but I don’t yet know my skin name(s). That limits the types of interaction I can have, given that knowing skin names is becoming more prominent as an issue. Tracking those names down through official channels may require the evil abuse of deadnaming; and I doubt I will ever make contact with people from those nations who may know my skin name (other than my birth family) because of a reluctance I have to travel far - partly because of my health problems, and partly because of resurgent problems of officious bloody-mindedness and wilful blindness to suffering in various sets of officials / authorities associated with various forms of travel.

(One day I will get my skin name(s) from my birth family, but we have other, higher priorities for now.)

Those resurgent problems also crop up in the workplace. I have personally witnessed decades of education, legal reform, and activism, and yet we still have problems ranging from the gender pay gap to toxic masculinity including domestic violence, problems that have worsened under neoliberal governments after progress had been made. In fact, in workplaces generally, we are only in recent years starting to address psychosocial  safety.

I also want the psychological security of owning a home for my family, but every fool who wrongly thinks houses are for building wealth (including every coward who fails to open their mouth and challenge that lie when it is spoken) has been a sock  puppet of the evil  John  Howard and made that impossible – along with every builder and architect who maximises building coverage of land (or, in this era of climate crisis, fights against decent insulation/eaves/verandahs – or against compulsory insect screens in rentals).

There is also an element of cluelessness in every person who pushes for social housing without acknowledging, let alone trying to address, the problems of (sometimes physically violent) discrimination, noise, and overcrowding (especially psychologically) in public housing (and public transport – why don’t we see statistics on the rate of sexual assaults vs. passenger density?).

That cluelessness and hypocrisy also exists in the nominally spiritual world.

As I have already written, I first came across that amongst those who claimed to be Christian but were actually neochristian (I do also know people who are genuinely Christian), but that also includes Buddhists who were (and probably still are) arrogant intellectual elitists (as opposed to the Thai colleague of mine in the 1980s who had spent six months as a Buddhist monk and was an excellent exemplar, guide, and friend), shamans in the 1980s who may have been using cultural (mis)appropriation (I have posts which touch on that here, here, and here, but also consider how connections may carry forward from one life to the next, even though those lives may be in different cultures), Wiccans who were transphobic (and their attempts to justify those acts of hate have been shown to be lies by more recent Wiccans who are genuinely inclusive and agents of the Goddess or God & Goddess or multi-gendered Deity – but I had left by then), heathens who are white supremacists (and thereby damage the standing and situation of those who aren’t), Druids who are addicted to words at the expense of service (unlike, for instance, John  Beckett or Damh the Bard), the selfishness of those who are focused on personal growth (whether New Agers or Pagans or other), those in the UFO/UAP field who are focused on physical evidence solely or conspiracy fantasies or who have moved into an awareness of the importance of consciousness but without accepting the obligations, duties and responsibilities that come with that, and thus do nothing to make the world a better place (or even make it worse by supporting evil despots like former POTUS45), and other problems including serious criminal offences. 

My disappointment has been enough for me to give up searching for a community, but, much as it is rare that one friend can meet all the friendship needs of one person, or a job can provide all the fulfillment needs of a single person, so too I have to accept that my spiritual needs cannot be met by a single path.

And that is why I have decided to start moving beyond the term Pagan.

I came across the clue I needed when I came across an oath based on serving Life – and realised that that is what I have been working at doing throughout this incarnation: serving Life. I’ve often even used that phrase!

So, my preferred spiritual self designation now is “Servant of Life”.

I know that it opens me up to mockery, and it is a term that is unfamiliar to most humans – and that I may yet tweak the wording, but … many humans aren’t familiar with a lot of things they should be (such as being inclusive … ) and I will still use Pagan as a short hand for those I have no interest in deep interactions with.

But from a personal point of view, it enables me to move beyond the constraints of sets of Deities that are limited to one planet – and I know I have had lives on other planets – and the constraints of feeling obliged to be loyal to any one particular path.

So, welcome to me identifying as a Servant of Life (sometimes psychic warrior).

Possible flaws 

Where I can, I will try to highlight possible flaws / issues you should consider:

• there may be flawed logical arguments in the above: to find out more about such flaws and thinking generally, I recommend Brendan  Myers’ free online course “Clear and Present Thinking”;  
• I could be wrong - so keep your thinking caps on, and make up your own minds for yourself.
  

 

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Finally, remember: we need to be more human being rather than human doing.

 

 

Post No. 1,425 - Power

I've just finished reading an entertaining novel about magick - a "young adults" book. It has some accurate comments about magick, along the lines of perceiving lines of energy in, around and between things, something I've done - to a mild extent - all of my life (think the "don't step on cracks" game on steroids, and you'll get an idea of what some of my childhood was like ☺).

The other thing that struck me about the book - and this is what has led to this post - is the ways that magick in particular, and power in general, can be abused, misused, or not used.

In the novel, there are a number of characters who are, shall we say, "less than perfectly evolved" - not evil, just at the more unpleasant range of normal human behaviour amongst teenagers. The main character makes a few mistakes in the way she handles her untrained magickal power, and there is a dramatic extension of the extent of magickal power way beyond what happens in normal life (for most people, at any rate - certainly well beyond what I've ever come across).

The risk that the character illustrates is one that is often focused on in the mundane world (which is term I will use in this post for the physical level of reality): use of power for personal gain and/or convenience. In the physical world, this covers things such as:

• financial gain that others have no chance of accessing or competing for, and is at the expense of the common good; 
• corruption, including nepotism;  
• abuse of power for personal gratification - one form of which the "Me Too" moment has made abundantly clear in recent years, but Imelda Marcos' shoes are another notorious example, as is the "resource curse" which afflicted, amongst other places, Uganda under Idi Amin, Zimbabwe under Mugabe, and the DR Congo; 
• use of power to maintain power (this gets into the "dirty tricks" of politics - on that, I'm currently re-reading "All the President's Men"); and 
• use of power for revenge - a variation of the preceding point, where the underhandedness is about gratifying personal dislike, which is also where conscious and unconscious  bias comes in to play as well.

I want to emphasise some of the character flaws that underlay the above points:

• In the spiritual field, which includes, as far as I am concerned, magick, excessive focus on the material world above the nonphysical. Now, that does not mean one neglects or ignores the physical - anyone who thinks that should find out what poverty and starvation are like, which will show why those states of being should be eliminated from the world (apart from dragging down those in those states of learning, they are not good ways to learn for the overwhelming majority of people, and the nonBPM energy generated also adversely affects others). In addition, it is worth contemplating Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, which says fundamental needs (such as food, water and shelter) must be met before emotional and other needs can be met (incidentally, I plan on writing about a "Hierarchy of Needs" for nations).
  In terms of the use of power, anyone suffering from this imbalance would think, for instance, that using magick to have a large, flashy home is OK, whereas it is not, because:
  (a) it is an inherent misuse of the power of magick;
  (b) it consumes resources and generates more GHGs; and
  (c) it often involves robbing others of what is fair and reasonable for them. 
• Selfishness. 
• Bigotry, which I dress up nicely above by referring to as "conscious and unconscious bias", introduces a number of problems:
  (i) it makes the application or use of power what is officially termed "arbitrary" - which everyday people are likely to refer to as "unfair";
  (ii) it blinds those using the power to the strengths and weaknesses of those to receive the benefits of the application of power, or who can contribute to the use of power.
  That is, some groups of people may be excluded from benefits - such as people from other races, sexualities, gender identities, sexes, cultures, language groups, etc, and people with the ability to make a useful contribution are also shut out of the opportunity to do so.
  This is well covered by the continually developing area of human rights. From a spiritual point of view, this flaw is likely to lead into actions which are harmful all round - including, through the action of karma, the perpetrator;
  (iii) Thought flaws such as the "white picket fence" mentality, mistakes in the conception of what is beneficial and not in terms of goals to aim for in the use of power. Neoliberalism is another example of this flaw in the mundane world; spiritually, the most common mistake I have come across is people thinking the solution to problems is for people to overcome them, which neglects the fact that we are also meant to be contributing to making the world a better place - the view that we are too small or that "it takes too long" is a whole set of (unspiritual) flaws, including cynicism. 
• Not understanding other people - massive topic; for now, maybe see here.
• Addiction to power can occur through a complex mélange of factors, including, "but not limited to", the desire to do what one considers good (an underrated and often ignored factor - which is dangerous, as it is often the foot in the door for other faults), the understandable and very human desire for a bit of comfort and ease - and, after more than half a century of fighting for a better world, this is the one I am most prone to, exhaustion / being overwhelmed, etc, as well as the more commonly considered enjoyment of having and exercising power. 
• Other addictions - most notably illustrated by purveyors of so-called "love" charms and spells, which are a form of control of another person, and thus are, in addition to being harmful to the person trying to exercise such power (not only through karma, but also through deferring addressing issues such as the fear of being alone), evil. 
• Fear (see also here) - in this instance, fear of whether the outcome from the exercise of power will turn out the way one wishes (fear of others / difference is covered above, under "bigotry"). This may be something that those who have tried to change the world for a while and know the difficulty of doing so have a better handle on than those who have less experience (none of which relates to chronological age: it depends when one starts to realise that psychic power exists; this also gets into what one brings in to this incarnation from previous lives), as they are more likely to understand that, in the long term, forcing people to be a particular way does not work as well as taking people with you on a journey to comprehending and appreciating the benefits of a change. The backlash that occurs in the mundane world from time to time (throughout history - POTUS45 is just the latest manifestation of this, albeit one of the worst for a  long time) shows what can happen when people are not taken along the journey.
  The counter to the latter point, is that not making a change condemns those suffering from the status quo to continuing to suffer - and this is what often drives many community activists.

There are two other points I mentioned:

• the misuse of power; and 
• failure to use power.

Misuse of power is typically thought of, in my experience, by what I have covered so far. However, in the context I have in mind, what I am referring to here could also be referred to as incompetent use of power - things like making mistakes.

In the magickal world, it also covers shortcomings in technique.

So, what sort of things could lead to this?

• Inadequate understanding of what needs to change - for instance, addressing a symptom, rather than a cause. In the mundane world, as an example, that might include lashing out at a police officer for wrong conduct, rather than changing the training that produced the incompetence or allowed a wrong attitude to exist in the officer's mind. Spiritually, it would include focusing on POTUS45 and ignoring the problems that drove those who voted POTUS45 in to power. 
• Inadequate patience and persistence. I want to change the world, and, as I've written elsewhere, that takes a long time, and I won't get what I want done completed in this lifetime. That doesn't mean I give up in despair, which simply means it will take even longer, and requires someone else to do what I should be doing, it means I exercise patience and persistence - as expressed in one of my personal affirmations, which is:
     Consistently, consistently, steadily, steadily,
     like a relentless river of ice
     I progress daily
     towards my goals, needs and aspirations.
  It also means I take the time to practice and master my psychic skills, including knowing what they can and can't do. 
• Arrogance - not connecting to others, which requires one to possibly be prepared to give up a part of what one is wanting to do in order that a team can develop and work towards a collectively chosen goal using collectively agreed methods.
  That is a compromise, but it may be necessary in order to achieve what one wishes. In a magickal sense, that may mean being part of a coven or other group; in the mundane world, it may mean doing something like joining a political party (or an activist group).

Paul K Chappell  writes  (e.g., "The Art of Waging Peace” (pub. Prospecta Press, reprint 2015, ISBN 978-1632260314 [Amazon], see also here) about learning from the military so one can "wage peace" more effectively. I've also found, recently, that Sun Tzu's "The Art of War" actually does have some useful information that can aid my psychic work - I've avoided it for decades out of my pacifist principles, and that was a mistake. (It took reading some of Mr Chappell's books to realise my error.) This sort of learning should also be applied to using magick to change the world, and this is very well outlined in David Salisbury's excellent book "Witchcraft Activism" (Weiser Books, Newburyport, 2019, ISBN 978-1-57683-657-0; Amazon). Please get it, and read it, if you wish to use magick to make the world a better place.

That is also a useful point to start considering the final flaw: not using magick.

My experience is that most people don't act because they think they can't possibly make a difference, or a significant difference (limited self confidence is only a part of this issue: there are personally confident people who don't act because they have the view it will not be effective). The notion that one person can't make a difference is wrong for a number of reasons, which I've also written about elsewhere. It is also worth considering that this is where the benefits of working with others comes into play.

There are other reasons people may not choose to act when they can, and the one I want to mention here is: fear.

In the mundane world, "doing something" can lead to retaliation from those who are more powerful (I've experienced, last century [millennium!] such petty vindictiveness in the workplace). It is real matter to consider, but it should be considered properly - objectively, taking into consideration things like "can I protect myself?" This is something well illustrated, in the mundane world, by the current protests in Hong Kong.

In the magickal world, the same thing can apply, and that is why one needs to learn about psychic protection - which gets us back to some of the earlier points, one of which was fear, and the interconnectedness of all this starts to become apparent.

Learn about psychic protection (and nonphysical health, strength and wellbeing), use it and gain experience that it works, and one's - valid - fear will ease, and that will lead to choosing to take action.

Also, remember the old adage: "Know  Thyself".

Finally, just as psychism is real - it exists, so too is power - it is real, and it exists in a wide range of forms and arenas. At some stage, just as one has had to learn a whole host of other skills in life, one has to start learning how to work with or at least co-exist with honour and integrity (mægan) with it. Work at your pace, in manageable sized lessons, and with patience and persistence, and you will get there. 

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Remember: we generally need to be more human being rather than human doing, to mind our Mӕgan, and to acknowledge that all misgendering is an act of active transphobia/transmisia that puts trans+ lives at risk & accept that all insistence on the use of “trans” as a descriptor comes with commensurate use of “cis” as a descriptor to prevent “othering” (just as binary gendered [men’s and women’s] sporting teams are either both given the gender descriptor, or neither).

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