Post No. 3,018 - The Great Lie of Polarity needs to be replaced with the Truth of Dynamism

This is going to be one of those very quick, rough and ready posts so I can get a thought out into the world.

This has been spurred by listening to a macho IPOC bewailing that he had a relationship with a woman that was a disaster because she was more masculine than him (which he clearly would have known about when he go into it, so ... spite? Vindicativeness? narcissism? Sub-clinical psychopathy?) 

What this behaviour focused on was a mythology that everything is driven by polarity - by extremes, such as (in western society) the now thoroughly discredited notion that gender exists only on two polar, opposed extremes.

This sort of amathia crops up in so many other areas of life as well - particularly outdated, outmoded metaphysics. 

The TRUTH is that it is the dynamism - the change, flow, and energy - that occasionally goes all the way out to one or other of an outlier that is important - the fact of change, dance, and vitality is important, not that occasionally that change and vitality reaches a point that the unnuanced can recognise and label easily.

Life is dynamic.

Stop building meaningless fantasies because they are easy to impose control over with labels, descriptions, and bullying. 

If I get time and energy, I may come back to this, but world events are taking an even worse turn ...

If you appreciated this post, please consider promoting it - there are some links below, and there’s also other options. 

Note that I am cutting back on aspects of my posts - see here. 

(Gnwmythr is pronounced new-MYTH-ear)  

Remember: we generally need to be more human being rather than human doing, to mind our Mӕgan, and to acknowledge that all misgendering is an act of active transphobia/transmisia that puts trans+ lives at risk & accept that all insistence on the use of “trans” as a descriptor comes with commensurate use of “cis” as a descriptor to prevent “othering” (just as binary gendered [men’s and women’s] sporting teams are either both given the gender descriptor, or neither).

#PsychicABetterWorld   and  

Copyright © Kayleen White 2007-2025     NO AI   I do not consent to any machine learning aka Artificial Intelligence (AI), generative AI, large language model, machine learning, chatbot, or other automated analysis, generative process, or replication program to reproduce, mimic, remix, summarise, or otherwise  replicate any part of this post or other posts on this blog via any means. Typo’s may be inserrted deliberately to demonstrate this is not an AI product.     Otherwise, fair and reasonable use is accepted under Creative Commons 4.0 on an Attribution-ShareAlike basis https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/  

 

Post No. 030 - Families, funerals and public accusations [Content Warning: life lessons, family problems]

I am on my way back to my home city of Melbourne. I’ve just spent several weeks in Brisbane, sharing my mothers’ last few days on this plane, attending her funeral, and helping my father move into the new phase of his life. I should probably be specific at this stage, and point out that these are my adoptive parents: they are, to me, my parents – they loved me, they nurtured and raised me, and I have never questioned the role they played - and play – in my life. I have also never questioned the love that my birth parents had and have for me, and the role my surviving birth mother still plays (I made contact with her a few years ago: my birth father had died of throat cancer from smoking before I found them). I, until recently, could clearly say that I had two mothers – and I would challenge any who dispute that. They both loved me; the circumstances of this life dictated that their love was manifested into my life in different ways – and different, overlapping periods.

Does that make you feel uncomfortable, that I write I have (or had) two mothers? After I have explained the situation, I would have to question any discomfort with my statement about having two mothers – are you scared about new things, situations or ideas? Things that stretch your boundaries? Hmmm. Let us hope not.

It’s been quite a learning experience – including how much funerals are for the living, not the dead. I had been planning on coming up to Brisbane for a while, possibly a couple of months, to give my (adoptive) father and (adoptive) sister a hand in caring for Mum. I was going to fit this in with working at the Brisbane office of the company I work for (that company has been very supportive). I drove up over a weekend, as I’ve done a few times in recent years – particularly after we were told bout of cancer would be Mum’s last (she’s had a few bouts over the last four or five years. The extra car helps with the logistics, particularly of me going from hospital to work and back. I’ve jumped ahead there a little: Mum had a couple of falls, including one with a home care nurse, so she was put into palliative care earlier than anticipated – and I brought forward my plans for my temporary move.

I hadn’t planned on starting this blog with so much personal stuff: I apologise, it’s probably just part of my grieving process. I (I coped with the time with Mum in the palliative care unit by writing poetry [baaad poetry – you won’t see it here]). will get to some topics of more general interest soon.

Anyway, I arrived at Brisbane just in time: Mum was lucid enough to recognise me and kiss my hands, and I gave her the last two mouthfuls she ever ate. That was on a Sunday in late October. The next night we were told she was likely to pass, so all of us stayed in the palliative care room the whole night. She hung on in there, though. The night had started with a crisis, with all of us taking turns holding her hand, and talking to her, although she was largely non-responsive. After that, we settled in to a routine. My part of the routine was to take the evening shift: I would go there straight after work, hold Mum’s hand and talk to her about who was there, what we were doing, what my day had been like, and so forth. While I was doing this, whoever was going to be taking the night shifts, after midnight, would get some sleep. I would leave near midnight, go “home” (my parents’ house was a temporary home for the duration), come back for a while the next morning while my father and sister and anyone else who had stayed went home for a shower and a quick nap, and then off to work (often I could leave as soon as someone else turned up). Mum had a couple more crises during that week; and this is where I start to diverge from what many would consider “typical”.

You see, I have been doing “rescue”, or guiding the souls of the dead, since I learnt that ability at ASPECTS in the 1980s. I tend to do this mostly during sleep state these days, but still occasionally have a formal rescue session (often largely for teaching purposes). As such, I am reasonably well able to tune in to the astral world (although not so well at the etheric). As we were all gathered round Mum in the physical world, I could see Mum’s parents, our Nan and Pop, with her – and others who had passed. I could see the distance between Mum’s soul and her spirit helpers close as she became more aware of them, and more comfortable with the preparations for her passing – and then, everything stopped.

I’ve had someone who was partly friend, partly foster mother to me in the late 80s when I was making my way in Melbourne and dealing with quite a few emotional issues, pass around 15 years ago. She still pops in for a chat from time to time, and has even asked me to check on her daughter once. When Cheryl, the woman’s name at the time, passed after 18 months of extremely tough struggle, events happened much more quickly and easily at the end. Maybe that was Cheryl’s greater familiarity with matters of the spirit (she was a spiritualist, and also had performed rescue work); maybe Cheryl was worn out after 18 months of being in and out of hospital. I wasn’t there physically, but saw, from the astral, the ties to her chakras – including the Silver Cord – ease off and part, and “the Golden Bowl shatter’d”: the emptying of her aura as Cheryl passed.

With Mum, I even had glimpses of an Angel of Death, just hovering round, in the background. Some of the trouble passing was, I thought, partly Mum’s tough Scottish constitution – her parents had been the same with their passing. I consulted with my teacher and a few other trusted friends, and eventually the answer seems to have been tied up with Mercury being retrograde – which, apparently, is associated with (amongst other things) problems with journeys. Within a few minutes of Mercury going direct, Mum had passed.

She’s still resting, a bit confused, on some of the “introductory” levels where people receive healing – and, after her years of ill health, Mum needs it. A few months after her diagnosis, Mum said she had accepted her coming death, but just wished she could have a bit more time. Maybe Mum wasn’t as well prepared as she thought ...

Now, I’m well familiar with the stages of growth that go with death (anger, denial, negotiation, acceptance, etc), and have even had the privilege of hearing Elisabeth Kübler-Ross speak at Melbourne’s Dallas Brooks Hall in the 80s (she told a rather amazing story about – as one of triplets - standing in for her sisters on dates that I’m still deciding whether or not I believe J ). Coping with those stages was part of the planning my (adoptive) sister and I went through when working out how to help Mum and Dad. But there’s more to this than that. I have spent most of my life, from my teenage years, as a Tibetan Buddhist. That is a belief system which is well capable of helping prepare for death, but I think the symbology needs some minor reviewing and updating. I think living life so one doesn’t have any regrets is one thing everyone, irrespective of their belief system, can do to prepare for their passing. Having no regrets, by the way, does NOT mean having lots of parties and raves (ever hear the joke that, if, when asked whether you can remember the sixties, you say “yes”, then you weren’t there? [Well, you weren’t part of the drug scene, at least]): it means things like the last words I ever spoke to my mother as I left to go to work (I got the call about her passing just as I arrived) were “Love you”.

That’s something my partner and I have made a point of saying when we part or end a phone call: we started that because of some serious health problems she had a few years ago. On my partner, I had eventually settled on going to Brisbane for four weeks, but am heading back a week early: I miss my partner and my own space, she’s been missing me, I’ve been missing those segment of my family called “friends”, and I’m reasonably sure Dad will be OK. He coped with the funeral, and we’ve been talking about the waves of grief we experience each day. Mum was brought back for the funeral, but the main part of the funeral was for the living (around 80 or show) to show respect for Mum, and for the remaining family to move through some of the stages of grief.

So I’m back on the road again (with apologies to whoever sang that). And it’s my experiences on the road that are the driving force behind this post.

I’ve currently stopped in Forbes: I’d planned on trying to get to Wagga Wagga, but found the heat affecting me – I even had to turn the air conditioning on (which I don’t have to normally do with this sort of long distance driving until the air temperature is around 40 deg. C). That, however, didn’t help, and I stopped driving early as I just wasn’t in a fit state to get to the next town. So I have been reflecting as I recover, and my thoughts over the last few weeks have crystallised enough that they demand to put down, before they fade and blur.

I stopped at Glen Innes for a day, all yesterday. On our (my partner and I came up for a while son after Mum’s diagnosis) last trip up here, we took a “wrong” turn, and wound up there. We sometimes take off for a weekend and see where we wind up, so no major problems there (a few of the photos for this blog have come from such trips). Anyway, in Glen Innes we found the Australian Standing Stones (see http://www.australianstandingstones.com/ for more; a couple of photos are in the “Superheroes” post). On that trip, though, only having two days to get back to Melbourne we couldn’t stop; on this trip, I had a couple of extra days leave, and could take my time.

The stones were erected as a Southern Hemisphere version of Scotland’s Ring of Brodgar: it’s creators make no claims for any mystical or spiritual power – it was done to celebrate this area’s Celtic heritage, brought in by the white settlers in the area. The winter and summer solstices are observed at the stones, and there is some sort of ritual at the annual Celtic festival. In any case, having time to walk amongst the stones, show my respect for them, and just sit and enjoy the power of the place which has evolved (maybe though others wanting it to have a power overcomes any lack of ritual for that purpose, a bit like my wandering whether Harry Potter’s Expecto Patronum charm will lead to something). The power is of peace: I hope, dear Reader, you would notice it if you went there, or anywhere similar. I’ve read a few stories of people who missed the power of a place because they were expecting something spectacular J

I enjoyed doing the usual tourist things, I was able to find out more about my mother’s Scottish heritage and I bought a unicorn wand necklace. I also found I was being comforted by many animals: a pet dog at every motel I’ve stayed at so far, a pet cat at a museum and another pet dog at an art gallery.

I also found a few people uncomfortable because I am “different”: I have a fairly butch image, and that obviously unsettled some people, mostly males although one woman in a restaurant in Cootamundra was rude enough to make a comment in a stage whisper. Having a lesbian symbol tattooed on one shoulder probably didn’t help their discomfort, as it confirmed my being a lesbian.

Are you comfortable with same sex attracted people? Do you know some, or have some as friends? How about bisexuals – or transgender or intersex people, or people from other ethnic groups or religions? Do you have friends of the opposite sex if you are heterosexual, or same sex if you are gay or lesbian?

If not, you have a (spiritual) problem.

If you live in a small country town like the ones I am travelling through now, or the one I left many years ago, and don’t have around 10% of the population being openly and safely same sex attracted, your town has a spiritual problem.

Spirituality is not about setting arbitrary rules that exclude people, or prejudge them on any basis other than their actual, known personality. Spirituality is about being the best that you can, and helping others be the best that you can, and maybe establishing a relationship with Deity in the process (the maybe is because of the spiritual growth I experienced as a Buddhist [see Note 1]). Setting rules so you can stay in your comfort zone, and force others to stay in their comfort zones, in not being spiritual.

Men setting rules about what women can or cannot do is purely and simply wrong – ESPECIALLY if they spout that crap about “respecting women” while doing so (and don’t assume that is a characteristic of a particular ethnic or religious group: it isn’t).

Let’s look at the issue of gender for a moment:
- there are women who are “butch” in their image who are not lesbians (and deep voiced, but are not transgender), and who are no less female for that (and transgender females are unquestionably female, just as transgender males are unquestionably male);
- there are men who are effeminate and straight, and are no less male for that;
- women can be as sex obsessed as many men: more so, and cruder, in some cases;
- there are men working in professions that are predominantly occupied by women, who go through similar experiences to those of women in non-traditional workplaces (such as engineering)
- there are women who don’t want children, and are no less female because of that (and there are women who want children but are infertile: I feel sorry for the sorrow they go through when around fertile women who assume all women are fertile);
- men can be gentle and caring, and as besotted by their children, as women (despite not bearing the child for nine months).

Does that last point surprise or shock you? Then perhaps you are falling in to the trap of believing stereotypes, or the trap of wanting to live an aspect of life (e.g., mother) so fully that you forget it does not apply to all others. There is a term gay and lesbian advocates have developed: “heteronormative”. It means presuming that being heterosexual is “the norm”. Well, it isn’t, and there are a lot of people who make that mistake in their circumstances. In the case of lesbian and gays, it sets up a barrier that discourages being open: it creates doubt as to how the heteronormative person will behave.

Think that it shouldn’t? Try living on the receiving end of such bigotry and prejudice for a few decades (yes, I mean decades!) and see if you still think so.

I’ll give some more examples of what can happen to members of minorities – consider the experiences of just one transgender woman:

- having a transgender friend, one who “passed” extremely well (meaning she looked and sounded female in the stereotypical sense), who a neighbour had tried to kill (knife attack) disappear because she couldn’t handle the flashbacks from the attack

- burying one transgender acquaintance who committed suicide because of the lack of acceptance (i.e., discrimination) she experienced (have you ever lived with such widespread, fundamental rejection that it is powerful enough to drive you to commit suicide? This is, incidentally, an unusually low number – research shows that transgender people experience one of the highest levels of assaults and harassment of any group in society: no wonder there is a profound reluctance to be “out”)

- physical threats

- the extreme, personal violence of being referred to incorrectly (i.e., as a male; this behaviour also has been indulged by some women who consider violence a male problem – I, incidentally, consider the woman in Cootamundra I referred to earlier to have been violent [verbally] in her behaviour towards me)

- discrimination on the basis of being female (interestingly enough, some trans women who try to do something constructive about discrimination against women [e.g., in the workplace] may be attacked for doing so - even if they had been doing that before they transitioned, in the case of this example, her experiences were used to illustrate that things like discrimination against women doing the same work in pay do exist; this woman has also experienced presumptions that attempts to get other women to be more assertive were actually an attempt to get women to be more violent! (women can be violent – almost anyone can be, if they are pushed enough: see my previous posts about the problem of the “them and us” mentality);

- discrimination because her body used to be male (her real, essential spirit has ALWAYS been female in this incarnation, and she is in far greater harmony/alignment with the Goddess than some women who were born female; incidentally, some lesbians have also been subjected to a presumed lack of balance in their relationship because there is no male genitalia involved);

- discrimination; prior to her having surgery, because she hadn’t had surgery: this sort of stupidity fails to take into consideration issues such as men who are castrated through, perhaps, a fire or a car accident – they don’t suddenly become female, or want to become female: one’s sense of gender does not come only from genitalia);

- lack of acceptance until she could prove she had experienced sex as a female (I kid you not! This is about as brainless an attitude as those who think female pets somehow “have” to have a litter before they are neutered)

- having people (male and female) walk in on her while she is showering, under weak pretexts, to see if she has had surgery or not;

- discrimination because the surgery isn't perfect and she doesn't have periods (although she has, at times, taken the hormone tablets in a way that replicates a cycle)

- discrimination because some women attracted to her find the notion of possibly being attracted to a woman so repugnant (think about social conditioning [heteronormativity, etc] biasing those women against anything other than heterosexuality) that they would rather join in the behaviour that drives some transgender people to commit suicide rather than admit to being broad minded enough/developed enough to be bisexual;

- discrimination because some men fear the possibility of being attracted to her (which in itself shows an incredibly deep fear of homosexuality - and incorrect ideas about gender identity);

- discrimination justified on the basis of “respecting” women (how is being disrespectful to one particular woman because of her medical history being respectful to women?);

- discrimination because she is lesbian (gender and sexuality ARE DIFFERENT - see http://www.transgendervictoria.com/?p=p_2&sName=definitions; transgender people include opposite attracted, same sex attracted, either/both sex attracted and not interested in sex people JUST AS DO THE REST OF THE POPULATION);

- discrimination because she is different, and people have to grow/expand their personal world and its concepts to cater for my existence;

- discrimination because she doesn't fit stereotypical images of women (her voice is unusually deep, and there are a few other differences - all of which occur in some women who were born female, such as this woman’s partner).

These experiences were all inflicted by people who were, amongst their other faults, incapable of accepting new experiences constructively. I’ve been involved in lobbying for human rights in a wide range of situations, and the lobbyist is always graceful enough to give the person being lobbied “the benefit of the doubt” - maybe the person being lobbied is a nice person, and just need a bit of educating. (For example, there is plenty of medical evidence to support the transgender person’s statements that they are of the gender they identify as [including some brain research, albeit from a small sample], and lots of research showing that same sex attracted people are the same as others – no better, no worse, and that goes back to the 1950s).

Well, I’m not lobbying in this blog, and to that attitude I say: bollocks.

There are people who are capable of, say, meeting a transgender woman and – without having been educated on transgender issues at all – are capable of behaving with respect and consideration and manners, shown by accepting the trans person on her or his terms. The difference is that these people are in tune with their Higher Self, and the more noble aspects of life that that attunement gives.

Those people can genuinely say they are spiritual: not the small minded person who is afraid of being stretched by meeting someone who is different. If you cannot handle such experiences, you are certainly far away from being ready to leave this world and start exploring some of the other glories of creation.

I’ve found it interesting – sadly so, at times – watching the reactions of people to me at Mum’s funeral and while I am travelling to me. Most people at the funeral were quite accepting, welcoming and supportive of me, despite not having met from times before I came out. In those cases, they knew that Mum accepted me as I was, and maybe that influenced them. Sadly, I know there are some families who reject LGBTI (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex) members, or those who, perhaps, change their faith. As I’ve travelled, I’ve found people who would probably be inclined to reject such people from their own families: in my opinion, those people are being totally, completely and utterly disrespectful of my mother, and I absolutely will NOT tolerate that disrespect. Who the hell do they think they are, to prejudge me, when my MOTHER, the woman who raised, nurtured and loved me, thought I was still as deserving of that love after all I’ve been through?

Their lack of spirituality is, under the present circumstances, a rather small matter to me :)

I’ll give another example from when I was driving up to Brisbane. I heard an interview with the former partner of a now deceased racing car driver. In that interview, she claimed that her now deceased husband was not happy with his new girlfriend, and that the new woman was staying out of the public view because she didn’t want to be challenged on "being a scarlet woman". Now, I can understand the former partner being emotional, and I don’t know – or care, particularly – about which side is telling “the truth” (my experience is that it usually lies somewhere in between), but there is also the possibility of the new girlfriend not going out in public because that is her way of grieving. I always thought those people who got stuck into Lindy Chamberlain because she didn’t react the way they thought she should were appallingly ignorant of human behaviour.

In your life, dear Reader, I would like to suggest that you be very wary of falling into the same trap I’ve just illustrated: the discrimination of assuming others will – or should – be the same as oneself is a subtle one, but it is a significant (spiritual) problem nonetheless, and underlies many of the examples I’ve included on discrimination.

I have one more point related to the situation between these two and the new woman: polyamory. One of the biases that exists and is very widespread in this world (well, amongst Western cultures, at any rate) is that intimate relationships should be between only two people (whether they are same or opposite sex – and I don’t know how you start considering some of the other genders/sexes). That isn’t necessarily so. Quite a few years ago, I found myself in a relationship where my partner was seriously torn between myself and her ex (with apologies to the singer of the 1976 song “Torn Between Two Lovers”, Mary MacGregor). She basically loved both of us, and couldn’t work out which one of us to choose: so I told her not to choose. She didn’t, and we wound up in a sort of ménage a trois - technically, a vee, rather than a triad: look at the Wikipedia article on Polyamory for more on this. At the time, I didn’t know the term polyamory: my life would have been easier if I did, but I was in tune with my soul enough, and caring about the other people involved enough, to come up with and suggest something which didn’t fit society’s rules, but was for the best of all involved. That is an example of the sort of attunement I am talking about.

That same sort of attunement and willingness to embrace the new helped me, as a child, to move away from Christianity to Buddhism (the priest who presided over my mother’s [Anglican] funeral never realised that he had a Druidess giving the eulogy). On the topic of Christianity, fairly obviously I do not consider the Pope to be a spiritual person. I hope you, dear Reader, can cope with matters better than the Pope.

May you always greet new things bravely, and never be afraid of broadening your mind.

Love, light, hugs and blessings

Gnwmythr

 

POSTSCRIPT: one of the unexpected side effects of my mother's passing that I have found is that I am dealing with a few areas in my life that are potential regrets when I pass - situations where I didn't see opportunities, or thought I didn't deserve them, etc. I have long thought I wound up being different to many other people because of the number of situations where I felt I came close to death (e.g., having a car travelling in the opposite direction on a hot Queensland summer's days pick up a large chunk of bitumen and throw it into my windscreen). Whether I was in actuality close to death is immaterial: I genuinely felt I was, and in some cases even went through the sensations that the pilot Blackthorne went through when he almost died by attempting Hari Kari in James Clavell's novel Shogun (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shogun_%28novel%29, or better yet, read the book - it has some good lessons on socialisation, and the various forms that courage can take). I now live a far less risky life, and am emotionally more settled (not settled, mind you!), so haven't had any of the spurs to rethink my life that the half dozen incidents before I turned 28 gave me: maybe this is one way I will still get those motivating influences.

This post's photo is from Langwarrin Flora and Fauna Reserve, near Frankston (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Langwarrin). This was established as a military training reserve at the time of the British Empire's war in the Sudan in the 1880s, was used for training in the Boer War and then was converted to a hospital/recovery base for soldiers in the First World War. In the last part of the 20th Century (about 1970s, I think) it was converted to a Flora and Fauna reserve. 

 

Tags: life lessons, personal characteristics, polarity, responsibility, respect, family 

 

First published: Tuesday 20th November, 2007

Last edited: Saturday 1st December, 2007 

 

 

 

Post No. 026 - Judging others [Content Warning: Judgementalism, bigotry / discrimination, harm]

Although I consider myself to be a spiritual person, I actually consider that I am an extremely judgemental person (I am an INFJ personality type for those who are familiar with such things) - but I judge people on the basis of what they do, and the sort of people they choose to be (as far as they can choose). I do NOT judge people on the basis of things they cannot choose (I am speaking in terms of the choices that are available after they have been born: I am NOT discussing the planning of an incarnation before birth/conception), such as their race, sex, sexuality, gender identity, any disabilities, etc.

Many people who are middle aged know of the comment in Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech (a great moment in the fight for human [civil] rights - not only in the USA, where the speech was made and was probably largely intended for*) to the effect that "I have a dream ... of a world where my children are judged, NOT by the colour of their skin-" at which point many people's recollections (in my experience) cease. It was an impassioned, genuine and moving plea for an end to racism, one which I wholeheartedly support - but Dr King didn't stop at that point. With the rest of it, it is (something like) "I have a dream ... of a world where my children are judged, NOT by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their CHARACTER."

Spiritual growth involves making decisions about what one is going to do - are you going to go along with the guy asking you to go and kill a few people 'cos he seems like a charismatic dude? No? Doesn't surprise me - that one's a bit obvious. But how about the dude (or "dudette") who has been quite accurate in what they've said so far, been quite supportive and helpful and understanding, and who you've developed quite well under, but now they've started to, say ... put the hard word on you in some way. Would you be duped, or would you maintain your faculties and reason and think and discuss your concerns with the head honcho/honchette concerned? (If you can't discuss the matter, you may have a problem.)

In my case, I am aware that there are people who's ambitions and consciously directed path in life are completely incompatible with mine. I don't have to mix with those people, or tolerate their actions. I consider that I should NOT hate them (see my previous posts on things like psychic attack [at http://gnwmythr.blogspot.com/2007/06/psychic-attack-energy-protection-and.html] for an explanation of why the emotion of hate, even if it is not verbalised or acted on, can still be a major problem), but I can judge their actions and say "those actions are harmful to ...". If the actions are harmful to me or third parties, I consider that no only am I warranted in taking some action, I am obligated to do so (see my post at http://gnwmythr.blogspot.com/2007/06/workshop-on-past-lives-part-1-working.html for my thoughts on the karmic implications of inaction).

As an example of this, consider the situation of someone trying to kill a child: you may not be able to physically restrain the attacker, but you can at least call the police (and if you don't, you would be charged with being an accessory). Again, that's a fairly clear cut example (and I touched on this from the point of view of kids who are abused but aren't believed by adults they try to tell in my post at http://gnwmythr.blogspot.com/2007/10/them-and-us.html).

What about someone who is ... say, a dangerous driver because they speed or tailgate? What can or should you do in that situation? You could say casually to the person "hey mate, have you thought about what could happen to others - maybe someones kid - if you have an accident?" If you know that won't work, well, I'll give a range of suggestions here: You could:
- report them through Crimestoppers (anonymously, if you wish)
- ask for/cast spells for protection for all those who are unfortunate enough to be anywhere near them on the roads
- do some work (spells, or at least ask) for them to get some constructive guidance in their sleep state (whether from their Higher Self or [constructive] guides) so that they grow up and realise the danger they are creating for other people.

Here in Australia we've had some very successful education which has changed social attitude to the extent that drink-driving is no longer socially acceptable. Now, if someone was going to try and drive while drunk, there is a good chance that the person's friends would take their keys off them. If you judge someone actions and find that they are going to harm others, there are plenty of precedents for taking action.

Another example I would put into this category is the person who does not accept people who are "different" - such as LGBTI people (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex; if you haven't come across the last two terms previously, see http://www.transgendervictoria.com/?p=p_2&sName=definitions, http://home.vicnet.net.au/~aissg/ and http://sixtyminutes.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=297615). Apart from the psychic attack that comes with holding those misbegotten beliefs, there is absolutely NO excuse for the lack of respect (including the lack of manners) inherent in failing to accept LGBTI people - yet I've seen too many in so-called Christian (I use that qualification, "so-called", because there are GENUINE Christians who do accept LGBTI people), New Age, Wiccan, etc, etc, etc groups who make that mistake.

The so-called Christians often claim their bigotry because of selective acceptance/interpretation of parts of the Bible; some Wiccans because of a mistaken belief that female essence can only be experienced by people who were born female, or that polarity can only be balanced by having someone who is physically male and physically female involved. Those beliefs are absolute rubbish - there are males around who are far better at tuning in to and calling on female energies than some women I know, and vice versa, and transsexuals are attuned to the energies of the identified gender rather than their birth gender - and that is without raising the issue of some people I know who claim to neither male nor female (I personally know two such people; also, see again the definitions pages I gave links for earlier).

I am a lesbian: I have quite a butch image (which actually started largely because I have had to build up my physical strength so I could realistically care for my partner, who has physical mobility problems arising from severe arthritis in her mid-40s [the choice was being able to wear strappy tops vs. being strong enough to lift her if she fell or got stuck somewhere: the tops lost out, and I've become quite fond of being physically strong - and judge anyone who would choose otherwise quite harshly, on the grounds of selfishness]), and have encountered quite strong discrimination as a result of not fitting other people's stereotypical view of what is "feminine".

I have even had someone - who claimed to be a lesbian, but also claimed not to have raised the issue in the words she had used - ask me if I and my partner "missed having the male energy" when we had our commitment ceremony! What complete crap - commitment ceremonies/marriages/relationships are about LOVE, not meeting some third parties misguided mistakes about balance!

Such mistaken beliefs are actively harmful of LGBTI people and, as a (karmic) result, the person who holds those beliefs. As a minimum, those attitudes contribute to the restrictions of life and quality of life that are inflicted on many LGBTI people; at their worst, they are DIRECTLY responsible for contributions to suicides. (Discrimination within the LGBTI communities can also occur [e.g., G against L, G & L against B, GLB against T, etc]; when it does, it is just as wrong as other discrimination - not more, just as wrong, and some of it IS attributable to the effects of being discriminated against by society generally, and NONE of that justifies any other person discriminating against LGBTI people, any more than the flaws and problems of any group of humanas justifies treating all of that group as if they are the same.)

As another example of this sort of problematic judging others, there is the person who claims to be being "respectful" - typically, respectful of women, and in the practice of their "respect" they condemn women to live restricted lives where they are unable to do much. There are sections of Australian society which are like that - and there are sections of the Wiccan world who are like that. (Did you jump to the conclusion that I could be talking about Muslims? Two of the best engineers I have ever worked with are women who are Muslim. They are EXTREMELY capable, and they are working in a profession that is still a bit of a "Boy's club".) I say to such people who try to justify their bigotry on the basis of "respect": deal with your own inadequacies which result in you feeling threatened when women are strong, independent and capable - and living their own lives, or whatever ignorance/prejudice/discomfort with anything or anyone new or outside your personal boundaries to date (see my coming post on courage, and my post on control at http://gnwmythr.blogspot.com/2007/10/control.html).

(Anyone who does have such problems also has to deal with the weight of the law, whether that is through breaching anti-discrimination law [did you know it is illegal to discriminate against women breastfeeding in public in Victoria?], using wrong pronouns in the case of transgender people or laws around assault or threats.)

If the person's actions are going to genuinely only harm themselves, I consider the situation is less clear cut. Ironically, situations such as people harming their health through perhaps smoking or maybe major weight gain would possibly be more likely to result in friends being concerned and saying something than other actions where third parties are harmed (e.g., the dangerous driving), but - in my opinion - the karmic case for taking action is less clear cut. (The friendship motivation is quite understandable to me, though, having been on both sides of that sort of situation a few times in my life.)

It's a bit hard to think of examples where no-one else is harmed. Probably one of the clearest examples I can think of is someone who is a member of the Flat Earth Society - i.e., someone who believes (or says they believe) that the Earth is flat. If they are serious, I personally consider them wrong - and, while I wouldn't hire them to be an interplanetary rocket scientist, I wouldn't hold their beliefs against them.

I personally have seen the down side of destructive judgementalism - I have been on the receiving end of enormous discrimination, including physical threats and prolonged lack of acceptance that nearly drove me to suicide. Despite that, I know that there is a constructive judgementalism, and neither shirk from being judgemental in a constructive way nor from saying so. I judge those people who have a problem with other people being themselves in ways that don't harm others (such as lesbians, gays, transgender people, women who don't fit social stereotypes, and men who don't fit social stereotypes), and those elements of the Wiccan world who have a problem with any balance of polarity that does not involve physically male and physically female people, as having a major problem themselves.

Love, light, hugs and blessings

Gnwmythr

* See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Have_A_Dream for more on the speech concerned, and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Luther_King_Jr (accessed on Friday 17th November, 2006, at which time the article had a note advising that sections of the article required amendment to comply with Wikipedia’s standards) for more on Dr King. At the time concerned, Wikipedia article began with this, which is a useful sumamry: Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (January 15, 1929 – April 4, 1968) was an American political activist, the most famous leader of the American civil rights movement, and a Baptist minister. Considered a peacemaker throughout the world for his promotion of nonviolence and equal treatment for different races, he received the Nobel Peace Prize before he was assassinated in 1968. He was posthumously awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by Jimmy Carter in 1977, the Congressional Gold Medal in 2004, and in 1986, Martin Luther King Day was established in his honor. King's most influential and well-known speech is the "I Have A Dream" speech.

This post's photo was taken at Langwarrin Flora and Fauna Reserve, near Frankston (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Langwarrin). This was established as a military training reserve at the time of the British Empire's war in the Sudan in the 1880s, was used for training in the Boer War and then was converted to a hospital/recovery base for soldiers in the First World War. In the last part of the 20th Century (about 1970s, I think) it was converted to a Flora and Fauna reserve.

Tags: about me, interpersonal interactions, karma, personal characteristics, judging others, discrimination, polarity,
First published: Sunday 21st October, 2007