For most of my life (I nearly wrote "adult life", but I've done this since I was a kid), when I am doing my breathing/visualisation exercises, I often chant (usually mentally, to avoid waking the rest of the house) "peace, love, joy", which are (some of) the energies I want to bring in/build in the world, and in myself. Fairly obvious, I think, why I would want to do that :)
Well, after four decades, I've altered that chant: I have added honour and respect.
Respect is basically around respecting other people, their free will, their choices, and, above all, their personal boundaries. In the last decade, I have encountered major problems through people not respecting my boundaries - actually, it goes back further than that. When I wrote "last decade" I was thinking, in particular, of a former partner, who's family kept indulging in petty crimes which, apart from the time, effort and money involved in court appearances, made my dream of standing for election to the Senate impossible (as a member of several minority groups, I would come under extra media scrutiny, and their petty criminal activities would be used to attack me). However, I've also encountered problems with lack of respect earlier than that - for instance, lack of respect (leading to discrimination) in the workplace around my being lesbian, and around gender identity issues (I've even, many years ago now, had someone who I had thought a friend end that friendship because they considered I should have talked to them more about what I was going through, when I was in a phase of self denial!) It goes back much further than that, however: I've been bullied at school, and subjected many times to the nasty Australian "Tall Poppy Syndrome" (attacking people who dare to be different, or excel, people who, in the Australian vernacular, "get above themselves" - I do know this occurs elsewhere, by the way), and, as a kid, often held myself back to avoid being hassled.
That still happens, often in a more insidious way, when people praise small efforts as large, which then makes anything I try to do which could exceed that potentially problematic. As an example of that, when I first joined an Amnesty International adoption group, I wrote 70 letters in my first month, which caused problems as another member had written fewer, but a number which was, for her, in her circumstances (with kids), an excellent number.
So ... I want to bring into the world, and into my life, more respect, which would accept that people are in different circumstances and what is excellence in one situation is not in another, and that is OK, and that people have rights (such as privacy, i.e., not being subjected to invasive questions, or having others presume rights to access/use personal property when they don't [or fail to respect such usage if permitted]).
Solution? Add it to my chant.
I also want to bring into the world more of the old fashioned values where one has personal integrity, is self reliant, and doesn't do the puerile indulgence in petty crime out of boredom, or to "belong". Hence, honour.
And now, I have to go get ready for a family event that honour dictates I attend :)
Love, light, hugs and blessings
Gnwmythr
This post's photo was taken from Mt. Dandenong around this time last year - autumn.
Tags: chant, personal characteristics, personal responsibility, ethics, interpersonal interactions, love, peace, joy, honour, respect, affirmations,
First published: Sunday 4th April, 2010
Last edited: Sunday 4th April, 2010
