I think I've probably written on this topic previously, but this latest reflection was triggered by hearing a young person (and these days, anyone the other side of 30 is, to me, young :) ) grumble about someone who didn't want something ostentatious for his birthday "Well, I'd want that if it was me".
No doubt, kiddo, you would - and there is nothing inherently wrong with that (although the environmental costs of such behaviour will be increasingly questioned in years to come). Where this becomes WRONG, is when you expect (or assume that) others to have your likes and dislikes, or to react to things the way you expect, or to share your aspirations and goals.
I also dreamed last night about one of my sisters. She and I didn't get along when we were younger: we have as we have aged, and the last time I saw her, we got along particularly well. However, I am of the view that much of the disagreement we have had a adults was because I did not dedicate my life to the pursuit of children. As it turns out, I have, in the course of my life "acquired" step-kids, a foster-kid and so on, but I dared not to make it my predominant goal when I was in my 20s and early 30s. I think many parents struggling with the demands of raising kids (keep in mind that I have done that also, but later in life) look at child-free adults (by which I mean people who CHOOSE not to have children, as opposed to child-less people, by which I mean people who have not been able to have children - which is a definition that came originally from someone else, and I apologise for forgetting who) and feel resentful at the apparent freedom, etc.
Well, tough: you made a choice, and you have to bear the consequences of that. I actually consider much of the rubbish I have encountered about not having children has, despite claims of "we need to do that for the sake of the future/nation/whatever", is actually based on resentment (and, as far as that goes, we need, as a species, to have fewer children, not more, for the sake of the future of this planet!).
It is easy enough to do. There have been times in my life when I have been resentful of people who have, for instance, made choices at a younger age then when I finally got around to doing so. Easy enough to do, and spiritually wrong.
Part of being mature is taking full responsibility for your decisions, both good and bad. Sometimes that can be hard - particularly when you have an unevolved soul baying for your metaphoric blood over a mistake, or lording it over you (i.e., pretending to be superior). Such things (the baying for blood, I mean) happen in an incredible range of areas of life - politics is where most people expect to see such bloodthirstiness, but it happens in professions, work life generally, social groups, special interest groups, ... and, often, FAMILIES. Go back to my comments about that one sister of mine.
That behaviour is spiritually WRONG, just as committing acts of physical or other violence are wrong. I am going to say that violence is often a worse wrong (yes, I do believe in scale of how wrong or right some things can be), but that doesn't change the fact that the behaviour I am writing about, even if it be as mild as grumbling that someone doesn't want what you would expect for their birthday, is wrong.
That same sort of attitude is, in fact, part of what underlies more severe cases of discrimination - racism, sexism, etc.
So ... if you wish the world to be a better place, I suggest you consider being tolerant of all forms of difference that do not involve harming people. Of course the issue of "what is harming people?" is a whole other post (for instance, consensual forms of sexuality and BDSM that do not align with how you live your life might not "be your cup of tea" [for instance, BDSM is not my cup of tea], but provided it is consensual and between adults, it is none of your business). So ... please enjoy and respect the diversity of life, including of human life, on this wonderful planet we live on.
And now, as a total distraction: I have had some good things happen of late. I finally have some (short) holidays from my day job coming up, which means we may be able to go bush, and the spiritualist mob my partner and I go to may be agreeing to me becoming the librarian. That is something I quite enjoy - in fact, as a child in primary school I tried to run my few books as a library, charging my friends 20 cents for a loan of each book so I could get money for more books (generosity and a lack of money on the part of my friends led to that particular scheme failing!).
Love, light, hugs and blessings
Gnwmythr
(pronounced "new-MYTH-ear")
Tags: attitudes, discrimination, materialism, society, spirituality,
First published: Mandagr, 20th February, 2012
Last edited: Monday, 20th February, 2012
