My day job is something that I have definitely had more than 10,000 hours of experience in - at 40 hours per week, it takes around five and a half years to get that time, so the general attitude that engineers start to be more useful after around five years' experience possibly has some basis (other than the fact of observation - the time at uni doesn't count: that just gets you a licence to start learning).
In sailing we had a similar approach, but it was based on miles of sailing ... and, sad to say, I can't recall what the criteria were (they were developed during the 70s as part of an approach to introduce national consistency in teaching sailing - which didn't work because it had some phenomenally stupid things in it as a result of the bias created by flat water sailors from down south - Sydney, for instance [I was living in Queensland at the time, remember :) ] ). In any case, with sailing up to three times a week, I had a fair bit of dinghy experience - and, as most of that was in rough weather exacerbated by a six knot tidal current, that was the reason I and others at our central Queensland sailing club could safely take Heron sailing dinghies out in waves over 20' in height (and did not perform anywhere near as well in the light conditions that the Sydney people excelled in). I still emphasise, when teaching sailing, that is necessary to work gradually up to such things. Your first year sailing should be in winds between 5 and 15 knots (sailing in conditions that are too light is as bad for learning as trying to sail in winds that are too strong), and then you can slowly, gradually start extending it out until, after, say, three years at least, your safe sailing range is 1 to 30 knots of wind. (There is a similar guide for waves, but size is not necessarily the issue. Any wave going against a six knot current is going to be difficult ... square, we used to term it.)
What I would like you to consider however, is the typical person who is trying to develop their psychic ability. Let's say they do ... oh, perhaps ... two hours of a development circle per week, for maybe ... 50 weeks a year (that number is for the convenience of the maths - it is likely to be a lot fewer weeks). At that rate, they will achieved the 10,000 hours after ... 100 years ...
Finding it hard to get the results you want?
Try practising more ...
I mentioned an example of this from the musical world. Many non-musical people (such as myself) look at performers, think it is wonderful, and think they could grab a guitar and, a few easy lessons later, be outshining Santana, or Mark Knopfler, or Brian May, or John Williams, or Tommy Emmanuel, or - well, you get the idea. They don't know of the hundreds of hours of practise to develop and then speed up their coordination, the development of muscular strength and calloused finger tips (I once "did" [yeah, it was me and the cat listening] a version of the wonderful song Yesterday with words along the lines of "Yesterday, all my finger tips were band aid free, now I play guitar you see ..." etc - and no, I won't give up my day job :) ), learning new songs, refining coordination with other muso's they just think that the final result looks so effortless that it must be effortless.
It's not. Not for music, and not for psychic abilities.
When I ran regression-rescue groups, I drilled my sitters on practising fundamental techniques, such as clearing links, or objects, or types of energies. Bored the hell out of them - but it is what is needed, if you are going to be serious about this.
So ... how about keeping a diary or log, and see how many hours you have to accumulate before you attain your desired level of competence?
Now, for your information, this notion of 10,000 hours comes from Malcolm Gladwell's [2] book "Outliers", which has attracted admirers and critics, so you may also wish to consider viewing:
- http://healthland.time.com/2013/05/20/10000-hours-may-not-make-a-master-after-all/, which says 10,000 hours may not be enough;
- http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/sportingscene/2013/08/psychology-ten-thousand-hour-rule-complexity.html, in which the original author of the source book for this concept provides some balance to the debate, including that chess masters have between 10,000 and 50,000 hours of experience, and that this is based on mental development, rather than physical (driving is clearly mental; sailing dinghies is both physical and mental); and
- http://www.wisdomgroup.com/blog/10000-hours-of-practice/.
The good thing is, both for these sets of skills and all others, that you can, to some extent, accelerate your learning and mastery by drawing on the experiences of others. Of course, in the case of parenting, you have to find someone who succeeded at the style of parenting [3] you feel comfortable with - if someone is a success at a different style of parenting than your style, it is pointless listening to them - it would be like a brain surgeon trying to tell a burns specialist what to do: both medical people, but vastly different approaches.
[3] On that, I had a young friend who was worrying about making a decision about whether or not to have a child as her biological clock ticked on, and to help her, I came up with the following table. I tried the table out on a few others, and the only extra suggestion I got was add in being fit during pregnancy, but others I knew disputed the importance of that. It's not a guide to parenting: it's the start of a guide to making a decision about whether or not to aim towards becoming a parent. One of the issues I consider many people in such situations need to consider, is that of parenting style.
Oh, and I quite liked the car window sticker I saw today .. "be the change you wish to see in your children"
A plan for having kid(s)
Issue
|
Explanation /
sub-issue
|
Options
|
Comments
|
Conclusion
|
1.
Lifestyle / finances
|
||||
Exactly
how much money is needed?
|
Spend
a week or two buying groceries as if have a toddler (including nappies), tot,
primary school and secondary school kid? Work out budget for these cases?
|
Level
of schooling. If want private school, need more money
Some
consider financial issues are given undue importance.
|
Do
a budget, and supplement by trial shopping for a week or two if needed.
|
|
Minor
supplementary options
|
Government
grants etc aren’t much.
|
|||
2.
Support
|
This
is most commonly from a partner.
|
|||
Be
single
|
There
are exceptions to having a partner - e.g., women who are widowed after giving
birth, some women who plan of raising a kid alone.
|
If
single, a recommended action could be to use disposable nappies, for instance, but others
disagree.
|
||
Current
partner
|
Do
they want kids? If they do, and have previous kids, they are making an
informed decision.
|
Look
at other options (more “spreads the burden” of support, cuts the load down to
something an occasional enjoyment for the supporter). Relationships can
always end, so other options are probably prudent anyway. In other words:
plan multiple back up supports for physical illness etc.
|
||
Child’s
grandparents. Need to cover: is this OK in principle first, then when how etc,
and finally specifics (styles of discipline, etc )
|
Issues
about relationship to these people? Many grandparents like grandkids.
|
|||
Others?
|
Friends
/ family / honorary “aunts/uncles” fairly common in extended families and lesbian etc communities. How would you feel about these people? Need to cover same issues as
for grandparents (when can call on, any limits, etc).
|
|||
3.
Physical preparation (1) - the environment
|
||||
Need
baby stuff and space for baby.
|
||||
Space:
|
Initially
could be in same room as parent, but should be in a separate room as grows
older.
|
|||
Getting
baby stuff. Can get little bit at a time. Where store it? (See space issue
above.)
|
Baby
needs:
- baby bath - bouncinette, - cot, - nappy bag, - bottles and various size/style teats (babies have their likes and dislikes too - especially the fashion conscious ones), - plastic cutlery (there is some which changes colour when gets hot) - steriliser (groceries + plastic box or similar to disinfect bottles) + bottle scrubbing brush, - clothes (op shop / friends’ cast offs for baby/toddler? - face washers / nappies (for spillages, burping, etc) - turkey baster (see item 5) and commemorative frame.
Later
will be more expensive as grows.)
- blankets - toys - children’s books (range of ages) - school uniforms and books etc (as grows up) |
|||
4.
Physical preparation (2) - the Mum To Be
|
||||
Before becoming
pregnant.
|
Mother's
physical health - comprehensive tests are needed, including
Status
of immunisation; if need booster for some (can't remember the specific one
but I can find out) she will need to wait 6 months or so before getting
pregnant
|
|||
When pregnant.
|
Morning
sickness varies: some have severe problems, some don’t. Consider provisions
if it is severe (e.g., talk to work HR officer).
|
|||
4.
Parenting skills
|
||||
Actual
skills required.
|
Grandparents.
Is
public support through community nurses, etc.
|
Consider having
foster kids for a while first, to see how you go.
|
Start
by talking to own GP or a social worker.
|
|
How
is confidence? Almost no parent feels confident initially but could be a big
issue.
|
“Trial
run” by some respite care for kids / limited term fostering?
|
?
|
||
Physical
issues
|
Doctor
/ health care centres
|
Seek
to have own health as good as possible before pregnancy.
|
Start
by talking to own GP
|
|
Interruption
to sleep
|
Happens.
How handle it? e.g. - minimise other commitments, have support networks to help
share load etc (even if DO have partner).
|
Plan
multiple back up supports for physical illness etc.
|
||
5.
Parenting roles
|
Male
role model.
|
Can
be arranged if no male partner, either through sperm donor or other male
friends.
|
||
Sperm
donors: … ah, … er, …
|
Talk
to _ re legal issues, _ re health issues / screening
|
|||
7.
Purpose
|
||||
Wanting
a baby is understandable, but what is going to result in feeling worthwhile /
fulfilled? Healthy baby and child? Mature / competent offspring? Someone to
look after in old age? How feel when arguing? What are the down times one
would expect? Would one be concerned if the baby turned out to be
ho-mo-sex-ual, transgender, intersexed or a politician? What about
Downs, lack of interest in intellectual stuff, etc?
|
Main issues:
Do a budget (just like doing a business plan
dearie :) ), and supplement by trial shopping for a week or two if needed.
Consider fostering as a trial.
Plan multiple back up supports for physical
illness etc (child’s grandparents, Rent-A-Grandmother [RAG for short] _,
etc).
Commit to a space.
Start accumulating baby and tot stuff when
space commitment made.
Talk to own GP re physical care, health
centres, etc.
[1] BPF = Balanced Positive (spiritual) Forces. See here and here for more on this.
[2] Please see here and my post "The Death of Wikipedia" for the reasons I now recommend caution when using Wikipedia. I'm also exploring use of h2g2, although that doesn't appear to be as extensive (h2g2 is intended - rather engagingly - to be the Earth edition of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy").
Love, light, hugs and blessings
(pronounced "new-MYTH-ear"; ... aka Bellatrix Lux?)
My "blogiography" (list of all posts - currently not up to date) is here.
I started this blog to cover karmic regression-rescue (see here and here), and it grew ... See here for my group mind project, here and here for my "pagans for peace" project (and join me at 9 PM on Sunday, wherever you are, to meditate for peace), and here for my bindrune kit-bag.
- One size does NOT fit all.
- Gnwmythr's Stropping Strap: Occam's Razor only works if the simplest solution is actually recognised as being the simplest, rather than the one that best fits one's bigotries being labelled 'simplest'.
- May the world of commerce and business be recognised to be a servant, not a master, of the lives of people.
- Ban the dream interpretation industry!
- A home is for living in, not feeling, becoming or being rich or a “better” class than others.
- Housework is for ensuring a home is comfortable to live in, not competing to outdo or belittle others.
- Like fire to the physical, emotions to the soul make a good servant, and a bad master.
- "Following the crowd" is not "going with the flow".
- Armageddon is alive and well and happening right now: it is a battle between the indolence of "I only ..." and/or "I just ..." and/or "Everyone knows ... " and/or "they can ..." and what Bruce Schneier [2] calls "security theatre" on one side, and perspicacity and the understanding that the means shape the end on the other. Indolence vs. perspicacity, and expediency vs. honour.
- The means shape the end.
- Sometimes you just can't argue with a biped that is armed with a sharp stick, a thick head and not too much in the way of grunts.
- As words can kill, the right to freedom of speech comes with a DUTY to be as well-informed, objective and balanced as you can be.
- My favourite action movie of all time is "Gandhi". However, I loathe the stereotypical action movie - and, for similar reasons, I loathe many dramas, which are often emotionally violent, more so in some cases than many war films.
Do not pray for easy
lives. Pray to be stronger [people]. JOHN F. KENNEDY (quoting 19th
century Episcopal Bishop Phillips Brooks)
Jesus loves you. Odin wants you to grow up. (Facebook meme, according to John Beckett)
Females, get over 'cute'. Get competent. Get trained. Get capable. Get over 'cute'. And those of you who are called Patty and Debby and Suzy, get over that. Because we use those names to infantalise females – we keep females in their 'little girl' state by the names we use for them. Get over it. If you want to be taken seriously, get serious. JANE ELLIOTT
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good [people] to do nothing. (based on writing by) EDMUND BURKE
"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." EINSTEIN
Females, get over 'cute'. Get competent. Get trained. Get capable. Get over 'cute'. And those of you who are called Patty and Debby and Suzy, get over that. Because we use those names to infantalise females – we keep females in their 'little girl' state by the names we use for them. Get over it. If you want to be taken seriously, get serious. JANE ELLIOTT
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good [people] to do nothing. (based on writing by) EDMUND BURKE
"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." EINSTEIN
We didn't inherit the Earth from our ancestors, we only borrowed it from our children ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPÉRY
Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar; it is not haphazard and superficial. It comes to see that an edifice which produces beggars needs restructuring. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
Those whom we cannot stand are usually those who we cannot understand P.K.SHAW
Few men are willing to brave the disapproval of their fellows, the censure of their colleagues, and the wrath of their society. Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential, vital quality for those who seek to change a world which yields most painfully to change." SENATOR ROBERT F. KENNEDY (US Attorney General 1966 Speech)
Too
much and too long, we seem to have surrendered community excellence and
community values in the mere accumulation of material things. Our gross
national product ... if we should judge America by that -- counts air
pollution and cigarette advertising, and ambulances to clear our
highways of carnage. ... Yet the gross national product does not allow
for the health of our children, the quality of their education, or the
joy of their play. It does not include the beauty of our poetry or the
strength of our marriages; the intelligence of our public debate or the
integrity of our public officials. It measures neither our wit nor our
courage; neither our wisdom nor our learning; neither our compassion nor
our devotion to our country; it measures everything, in short, except
that which makes life worthwhile." ROBERT F. KENNEDY 1968
Tags: attitudes, boredom, children, family, mastery, parenting, persistence, practice, skills,
First published: Fryrsdagr, 22nd November, 2013
Last edited: Friday, 22nd November, 2013
