I have to say (write) ... I had fun with that title :)
OK, so having got the fun bit out of the way, the article itself, which I rather suspect will cause a few proboscii to suffer dislocations (i.e., in English: some people will get their noses out of joint after reading this post).
In many Spiritualist groups, and in other groups and with some people since then, there has been a great emphasis on receiving guidance from people who were related to you when they were alive as being a good thing. Now, sure, I can understand that they may have loved you, but then, they may also have put a facade on and been abusive in private. If you, as a medium, get a message from someone who claims to be related the person receiving a reading from you, keep in mind that, to them, they are in a public domain, and what you may see is the facade. If the person receiving the reading (who I will now call the readee) is closed to the message despite knowing the person, that may be due to grief (including the stage of anger at the person for having died - read Elisabeth Kübler-Ross' books if that seems strange to you), discomfort with the public nature of the reading (even if only the two of you are present, you count as a stranger), a held over discomfort or anger from a misperception or misunderstanding of an interaction when the readee was a child, or the problem of private abuse. YOU have to work with your own guides to work which of these (or other) options is happening here.
It may well be that the discarnate person wants to apologise to the readee - they may have been healed of the flaw that caused them to be abusive, and genuinely been remorseful, but that still doesn't mean the readee has to accept their desire to apologise. If harm has been done, good must be credibly demonstrated and the victim healed until they feel they have had their own integrity and power restored before an apology would be considered. (As a persoal example of this, I am adopted: my birth family paternal grandparents had quite a bit to do with me being adopted, ad have indicated that they want my forgiveness. Well, the key to me being able to forgive them is them makig peace with my mother - THEN I will be able to forgive them.)
That, however, is a bit of a digression. My main concern over the apparent favouring of relatives as guides is the spiritual insularity it shows and the second rate choice approach it is.
I will choose a few analogies to try and illustrate this.
First, there is an assumption that the relatives love you. If they do, good, but what about the other relatives you have had from other lives who also love you? You may have known someone as a grandparent in this life, and had a wonderful relationship, but why does that count for more than someone who may have had, say, a dozen or more loving relationships with you, but chose not to come into incarnation with you this time so they could be a guide? ow, love ca be a powerful motivation to be protective, but it does not always lead to what is in the best interests of the recipient - I know people who won't let their seventeen year old daughter date, for instance, which I consider a case of love beig excessively overprotective. Similarly, the character played by Richard Dreyfuss, Pete Sandich, in the film "Always" is excessively "protective" of the character played by Holly Hunter, Dorinda Durston, (actually, read that as "possessive"). As the worst case imaginable, cosider the early suspicios that the terrible massacre of hudreds at the Beslan school was thought to possibly have been initiated by the actions of distraught parents with rifles outside the security perimeter, which seems to have been too close to the school. (The investigation has not clarified this, so, although plausible, I do not consider it definite.)
Next, there is the issue of skill and knowledge. Sure, when you die, and finish dealing with transition issues and the issues which come out of reviewing your past life you will have a broader perspective, and less psychic/spiritual clutter from the psychic sewer we have created in so many places on this planet (in fact, just the transition helps with that increased perspective and awareness), but that does not necessarily mean that person has enough knowledge/perspective to be able to effectively help you as you really need - which may not be what the deceased person thinks you need. Your BEST guides may be people you were not related to in this life at all - they may even be people still alive in other parts of the world.
If you have a child who is ill beyond your means to help, you get the best help you can. If you have a child who wishes to learn something beyond your capacity to teach, you get the best teacher you can. If you want to build a house, you don't go to Unca Bert Masgorious, who once built a tin shed in a corner of his back yard that blew down three years later, but he got a rep as a handyman: you get the best, most experienced, most competent builder you can. In the same way, if you want guidance, get the best guide you can (in fact, they're probably already there) - not Great Auntie Edie G. Obelwyn who thinks she is the bee's knees at anything to do with metaphysics but may not actually be.
It shows a sad insularity to be so focused on your comfort zone that you would accept only people you know as guides, or that you would rate them more highly than the guides who were trained and then allocated to you before birth. At the time of your transition (death here/rebirth in the Summerlands), you will probably be under considerable stress or trauma, or unwell, and so you may be sent people you are familiar with (and friends may rate more highly than family here) as a device to most effectively and easily get your attention: that is fine, that is OK - but that DOES NOT mean such people are the best people to guide you while you are incarnate.
There are problems with that approach also: the number of "Red Indian" etc guides probably far exceeds the number who ever lived, even allowing for parallels and guides maybe helping more than one person. Some of my guides are present images of normal, everyday, boring, mundane people. There is nothing wrong with that. If you crave the exotic, OK, then maybe go back to Great Auntie Edie G. Obelwyn who once spent a day at Frankston when the big smoke hadn't got that far. But don't ever claim to be genuine or serious about your spiritual growth.
Of course, your dead rellie could actually be the best person for you, so ... as you consider what I've written, keep your thinking cap on, and make your own decisions. After all, I could be wrong - at least in your case :)
Love, light, hugs and blessings
Gnwmythr
This post's photo is yet to be posted.
Tags: attitudes, awareness, daily life, discrimination, family, forgiveness, judging others, love, mediumship, spiritualism, growth, guidance, guides,
First published: Saturday 24th October, 2009
Last edited: Saturday 24th October, 2009
