Sunday, 30 August 2015

Post No. 750 – Family

This is a quick post about my trip up north to tropical-ish Bris-Vegas. The drive was a bit rushed, as when I left I was on a time deadline, but there were still good moments along the way. I was skirting west of a major rain event, one that had caused flash flooding and other problems, and there was a lot of water about, mostly beside, some on, the road. It made a pleasant change from seeing the country dry and dusty, and there were still birds about – including one hawk perched on a fencepost who watched me as I drove by.

The most magickal part of the trip, though, was the evening I pushed past sunset to get to Brisbane. I went a different route to normal, the southern way from Goondiwindi (which, incidentally, is pronounced Gun-de-windy), through Warwick and the old Cunningham’s Gap way through the Great Dividing Range, which used to be the main highway. The term “Great Dividing Range” is a bit of a misnomer for many people from overseas: these peaks are rugged and rough, and it took whites a long way to find a way through them, but they’re only a few thousand feet high. Their rough shapes, and the winding road, led to a few times when the headlights of cars and trucks coming up the other side of a hill would back-light the low cloud and fog, and the scene looked like something out of a movie – especially when the moon added her light to the scene.

The moon, incidentally, decided to hide her face rather than watch me try, for the first in over a decade, manage the steep, twisting descent of Cunningham’s Gap on a wet night – which didn’t help the visibility :)

It was a bit of an old fashioned country night drive: no lights, no lane separation, trees up to the drains on either side, the shadows of the hills coming and going in the dark in a rather welcoming and comforting dance.

Driving through Brisbane wasn’t so nice – as I mentioned when I posted about my recent trip up here to help take care of Dad. Sigh.

I’d like to spend a paragraph or two in wonderment at my father. One of the problems he has been having is hallucinating things like his home being full of other people. When I was talking to him during one of these episodes, his primary concern was the welfare of these other people – he wanted to make sure they all had jobs, and were OK. When I was talking to my brother-in-law up here, he told a similar story, from when he was visiting Dad in hospital earlier today, of how Dad was wanting to make sure everyone had enough.

This man is having serious health problems, and his first, instinctive desire is to make sure that everyone else is OK.

I love him, but I think, independent of that, he is a wonderful, compassionate, giving human being.

Sadly, his health has been going for some time.

And yes, all this is being written by the woman who keeps giving warnings about families, how they aren’t all good, and they don’t have the right to control people, etc.

Why?

Well, I know people who have suffered through some appalling families, but the situation is also a little akin to someone I’ve said about relationships and domestic violence. I am of the view that partners in a relationship should have enough financial and other reserves to be able to leave if they need to (or want to). That should be an example set, in particular, by those in good relationships – who can agree to do so without rancour or stress. That leads to people who are in bad relationships being able to hold them up as an example, and perhaps say “well, relationship X is solid, and they’ve done this, so I think we should as well, to also set an example”. That would work in possibly only a low percentage of abusive relationships, but that’s better than nothing, and maybe it will lead to people automatically making sure they have enough to leave before they go into a relationship.

Similarly, it is most impactful if people who have good family situations say “hey, I know I’m on a good thing here, but I appreciate it, and I know that not everyone is as fortunate, so we shouldn’t put pressure on those people by being insensitive, or presumptuous, or put them in a situation of having to say ‘hey, well, my situation isn’t/wasn’t so good, you know’ ”.

I’d probably write that more elegantly if I wasn’t exhausted by the trip (I’m not driving up in less than 3 days in future) and worried about Dad.


So now, time to get ready for my next trip to Dad in hospital …