Now, as it happens, one the things I wanted to make as a bit of a digression at the start of this post was that I have nothing but contempt for the "I'm young and pretty so you'll bend the rules for me" sort of manipulation I see a few young women (and men) try to use. Neither has, in my opinion, a clue as to what the essence of being their gender is, and yet will try to abuse their sexual attractiveness (or self perceived sexual attraction) to bend the world to favour them over others.
Parking restrictions are there so everyone has a chance to access the shops, banks, etc. Unless you have less ability with respect to mobility (which this young woman did not have), you should be doing the same as everyone else, finding a legal car park and WALKING to the shop/bank/etc.
That young woman was an example of the type of manipulation I wish to write about in this post.
The main point I wanted to cover was someone I knew in the long distant past who had problems - severe problems including anorexia, for quite valid reasons (sexual abuse when she was a child - which is, in my opinion, an under-reported problem, and one made profoundly worse by adults who do not believe the victim, which is a factor that has severely exacerbated several such cases that I know of). So ... this person had problems, for good reason.
However, she, in my opinion, at the time I knew her, was tending towards holding on to the problems. There was a pay-of for her, in that she got more attention as a result. The problem was that, at essence, she wanted someone else to take her pain and her past away.
Sadly, that cannot be done. Apart from situations where wrong has been done to us, there are situations where we have done wrong: neither can be taken away. All we can do is what we can to right the wrongs we have done, ensure those who have done wrong to us learn (constructively - vigilantes don't count!) not to do so and - with help as may be needed - heal ourselves.
This person had the help, including professional help and the love and support of her family (of which I was a part, at that time), but she refused to get better.
There comes a time in our (chronological) maturing where we have to stop relying on our parents and start being independent adults. There are other such moments in life, including the time when stop relying on Deity/"the Universe"/our Guides/etc to "make things right for us", and start to share the load - to carry our fair SHARE of the load.
This does not mean we have to heal ourselves on our own, or do everything without help: it does, though, mean we need to be balanced and objective about when we are receiving help, and when we are bludging or trying to manipulate the Universe.
I posted about this some time ago. As I wrote then:
Going back to "letting things get at you", I sometimes feel that people hold on to hurt to more or less try to blackmail the universe/Deity into showing some sympathy. "Hey universe/Deity, see how much this has hurt me? If you loved me, you wouldn't let this happen - or at least you'd come and give me a massage/tattslotto win/slab/
Trying to manipulate the Universe, whether it is by playing on being "pretty", ignoring a law for others' fair opportunity because it is slightly personally inconvenient, or holding on to pain, is a sign of something needing attention. Whether that is a genuine pain, emotional/chronological immaturity, or an inflated ego, I hope the person who has the problem deals with it - for their sake, and for the sake of everyone else around them they are harming.
Love, light, hugs and blessings
Gnwmythr
This post's photo is yet to be posted.
Tags: attitudes, personal responsibility, personal characteristics, laziness, needs,
First published: Wodansdagr, 2nd February, 2011
Last edited: Wednesday, 2nd February, 2011
