Post No. 038 - Giving oneself a kick up the backside [anger, interpersonal interactions, judging others, life lessons, personal characteristics, self criticism/knowledge]

When I was a teenager, the first Oracular system I worked with was the I Ching (using coins; you can find out more about the I Ching at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_ching, which has a note that, as of 24th February, 2008, the neutrality of that article is disputed - so read with your brains turned on, and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bagua_%28concept%29).

I enjoyed the "flow", the combining of energies (all the hexagrams come from eight trigrams), the insight - and the fact that it would occasionally tell me off (I would, from time to time, get readings which said, bluntly, "you are using the I Ching too much!" :) ). I still have of the earliest books that I bought on the topic: "I Ching: A new Interpretation for Modern Times", by Sam Reifler (pub. Bantam, 1977 [1st pub. 1974], ISBN 0-553-11789-0).

It is the aspect of "being told off" that I wish to write about. It is very easy, when one is starting off with personal growth/metaphysics/spiritual matters, to get carried away by the joys of whatever one is studying. This can make one vulnerable to sceptics, as one is so enamoured with what one is studying that one lacks a balanced perspective. One example I can recall from my high school days in the 70s (does one's distant memory get better as one ages at the expense of short term memory?) is of some (male) students making fun of a female student for saying everyone should love each other by deliberately misunderstanding her intent, and debasing he appeal for compassion into a mere request for casual sex. When I confronted them (I was far more outspoken in those days), they admitted they knew what she meant, but the damage to the young girl had been done -and those boys probably never even had the decency to apologise to her (if they ever argued that they were just having "fun", they should be aware that "humour" can and is used as a weapon to control others, a very vicious weapon - which is something shown by some research into engineering students by the National Centre for Gender and Cultural Diversity [see http://www.sisr.net/ncgcd/]). There was a similar incident when I was at uni: I can't recall the details, but I CAN, even now, 30 years later, recall the pain my friend went through.

Consider the following two scenarios.

Scenario 1:

A "I've been getting right into the Tarot lately, and it's absolutely wonderful"

B "What are you into that shit for!"

A "It's not shit!"

B "No sane person believes it"

Scenario 2:

A "I've been enjoying working on the Tarot lately, and I'm getting a lot out of it."

B "What are you into that shit for!"

A "Do you disagree with the Tarot?"

B "Of course I do! No sane person believes in it"

A "That's quite a sweeping generalisation. What do you know about the Tarot?"

B "I haven't touched that rubbish - why would I know anything about it?"

A "Then how can you criticise what you don't know?"

B "There's no scientific evidence for any of that crap?"

A "Isn't there? How much scientific literature do you read, then?"

I'll stop the example there, as there are quite a few responses possible (at each step, actually). The main point is, by not taking the critical (bigoted?) response to heart, which requires a certain amount of objectivity, one can respond more effectively. That's really a topic for another post (mostly on assertiveness, which is a crucial spiritual skill, in my opinion), although my post at http://gnwmythr.blogspot.com/2007/10/communication.html might be of some use. To return to the point of this post, if I felt I was either losing my objectivity too much, or getting complacent, or getting self indulgent (including emotionally and/or psychically - Carlos Castenada's writings [as usual, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlos_Castenada if you want to know more about Castenada - but keep your brain switched on, as this article also had a note warning that it's neutrality is disputed] include some tough comments from his teachers about being self indulgent rather than self disciplined about his shamanic practice) I would ask the I Ching for some criticism - for a metaphoric kick up the backside.

It takes a certain amount of objectivity to be able to do that. I'm not going to say it takes self esteem to be able to ask it, as the struggles I was going through at that time were associated - in part - with a very low self esteem, but it helps to act positively in response to the criticism if you have a good self esteem.

Interestingly, I've seen this at work. As an engineer, I am expected to actively seek independent checks of my work before it goes to the client - which applies to other engineers as well. Unfortunately, dealing with that isn't taught at uni, and some less experienced engineers don't always cope with that - particularly if there are personality clashes with the engineer doing the checking. There can be clashes also arising from a misplaced loyalty to the lead engineer of a team as well - which is a problem that particularly mars too many engineers' responses to criticism from members of the public, some of which is ill-informed and some of which is well-informed.

As another digression (it's that sort of lazy, "floaty" Sunday, with some welcome rain outside and relaxing Celtic music in the background), one of the things I dislike at work is the expectation that one will "blow one's own trumpet". I find that arrogant - it is the sort of characteristic which would exclude people from friendship with me. At times in the past I have blamed this on too much paternalism (male influence) in the workplace or too much American influence in the workplace. Now, as I have found out more about men and Americans as I grow older, I tend to say this behaviour is undesirable, and leave it at that (although there does need to be more of what is commonly attributed to females in business practice: the current emphasis on competition is unhealthy, and harmful to society - at least things like "alliances" [see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Business_alliance] and "public-private partnerships" [see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Public-private_partnership] are restoring the balance).

Going back to the point of this post, we all tend to get complacent, or overwhelmed by life. From time to time, however, it can be good to use whatever oracular methods we are using to ask for some objective criticism. If you're worried about this, you could also ask for guidance about using or responding constructively to such criticism.

Love, light, hugs and blessings

Gnwmythr

This post's photo is from a work trip to Mallacoota (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mallacoota) in about 2006. I liked the whimsical idea of the pelican possibly being a bit self reflective as a tie-in to this post.

Tags: about me, anger, communication, interpersonal interactions, judging others, life lessons, personal characteristics, prophecy, self knowledge, I Ching

First published: Sunday 24th February, 2008
Last edited: Sunday 24th February, 2008