Post No. 2,631 - Recovering from a corporate life - Episode 20: the sense of a holiday continues ... (until it doesn't ... )

For anyone distressed by anything in this post, or for any other reason considering seeking support, resources are available in Australia here, here, and here. In other nations, you will have to do an Internet search using terms such as “mental health support - <your nation>” (which, for instance, may lead to this, this, and this, in the USA, or this, this, and this, in France [biased towards English-language - my apologies]), or perhaps try https://www.befrienders.org/.  

Posts in this series are now listed at https://gnwmythr.blogspot.com/p/recovering-from-corporate-life.html. 

PS - expect these to be edited fairly often. Writing these is part of the healing process, and will bring up more insights,etc.

I still feel a little like I’m on holidays - I’m not doing my meditation as regularly as I want, and I’m not doing as much exercise as I plan to do ultimately. I’m doing more housework, which is good, but I am mostly doing easy, pleasant things, as if I was on a long holiday. In the context of my previous episode in this series, it took two months to get to feel like this, and I suspect I probably need at least another couple of months of “holidays”.

I have no desire to have any contact (other than the friendships) with anyone in my old career area, which I had suspected I might want.

I know I’m going to have to get back into some form of work (not engineering!!! [especially as I would have to re-register etc]) at some stage for financial reasons, but I’m in too much of a holiday mode to even do some preliminary casting around of what sort of work I COULD do.

Blessed be. 

PS - this is all being complicated by letting go of a lifetime of masking of neurodivergence, which is also allowing the trauma of decades of transphobic abuse - particularly by some (not all) past partners and people connected to them, and especially one particularly vicious friend of landlords and several equally vicious (now former) work colleagues, etc - to resurface. So, the work holiday atmosphere has been interspersed with trauma, and the latter is now starting to predominate. 

The neoliberal capitalist system and the abuses its adherents advocate for all suck.

I am writing this series in the hope that it will contribute to a better understanding - or at least better research into the effects of - the so-called developed world’s economic systems - which are based on the world-destroying amathia of perpetual growth, and patriarchal oligarchical capitalism expressed as often expressed corporatism and neoliberalism.

 

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Remember: we generally need to be more human being rather than human doing, to mind our Mӕgan, and to acknowledge that all misgendering is an act of active transphobia/transmisia that puts trans+ lives at risk.