That thought was that, in much the same way that people can get "compassion fatigue", when they run in to an inability to keep giving, I suspect people can also run into "mistake fatigue". Ny that I mean people can get tired of being reasonable and owning up to mistakes, and they just desperately want something they can say they got right. I came across this thought while idly speculating about ego and pride, and how some people who seem to be getting by without problems with ego can suddenly have a "bad day" and flip out - I can certainly think of times when I think I may well have run into "mistake fatigue" :)
Maybe there are other types of fatigue as well - for instance ... oh, I dunno ... maybe people can have "negativity fatigue". Quite a few people I knew early in my days of exploring spiritual/personal growth had problems handling things like bad world news: maybe that was partly just "negativity fatigue". [1] My partner, who has one child who has left home and another who is getting near, commented on "parenting fatigue" ... (actually, she helped me explore this idea generally).
The other thought relates to something I have written about in the context of what I call "growth orientation" [2]: compatibility, or the lack thereof, between partners, something I came across while re-reading some of Rampa's books (specifically, "Wisdom of the Ancients", Corgi Books, London, 1968, ISBN 0552072486). There is a word "Ashrama", which means "stages of life". The Wikipedia entry on this includes the following:
An Ashrama (āśrama) in Hinduism is one of four stages in an age-based social system as laid out in the Manu Smrti and later Classical Sanskrit texts. The concept of Ashramas has gone into disuse, and nowadays few Hindus follow it. At present, Hindus live their lifes according to their preference and convenience only.
I can recall a Rudyard Kipling story about someone (an Indian) who did something similar, although the four stages in the Kipling story were: student, warrior, family man, and then reunciate, and each was twenty years long, whereas the Wikipedia entry says that the four stages are 25 years long, and are student (see Brahmacharya), family life (see Grihastha), retired life (see Vanaprastha) and renunciate (see Sannyasa). Perhaps some of the conflicts that can occur between partners do so because people are at different stages of their life?
I have a rule that I will not get involved with anyone who is more than 11 years older or younger than I (when I myself was younger, the number of years was lesser; also, I have ALWAYS had a rule that I never get involved with anyone who is still living with their parents - unless, at the end of life I am at, it is because they are caring for the parents :) ). This age limit is because in most cases such differences are based on age, to some extent, but that is not always so. Perhaps some people are moving into student stage late in life, whereas their partner is moving into the family life stage.
Interesting - and I am glad such differences don't apply in my life (touch wood).
So, now I shall toddle off and enjoy some of that life :)
Love, light, hugs and blessings
Gnwmythr
Notes:
- I have a tendency towards a hardline view on this, but that may be because I've learned techniques which allow me to work to influence such situations (e.g. see here and here).
- See also here and here.
This post's photo is yet to be posted.
Tags: love, caring, compassion, growth orientation, relationships, stages of life,
First published: Wednesday 1st December, 2010
Last edited: Wednesday 1st December, 2010
