Post No. 192 - Life experience and Generations BB, X and Y

Yesterday at work we had a farewell lunch for a young colleague who is moving on to better pastures (well, closer-to-home pastures, at any rate :) ). It was a fairly typical send-off lunch, but a couple of comments caught my attention and tied into a line of thought I have been developing.

The comments were:

1. a bit of a discussion about which "generation" - in the sense of Baby Boomer, X or Y - the younger colleague "belonged to" (the conclusion was that, although her age put her in the Generation X category, her attitudes put her in the "Baby Boomer" category); and


2. during a discussion on relationships (whose had ended, etc), one even younger female said categorically "you must have a clean, total break at the end of a relationship".

Yeah right, voice of experience-not. Still, this highly sweeping, erroneous comment did, as I mentioned, tie in with some other thoughts I've been having in response to a current news story, a controversy involving a female teenager and some young footballers. Now, there have been quite a few such controversies, and my general impression - as a member of the public who has only the information placed before her by the media - of most of them is that the footballers are in the wrong. I am, however, pleased that the AFL has taken some reasonable steps towards educating young male footballers about respect for women (and, to some extent, respect for minority ethnicities).

But this case is a different as the young woman concerned is making no bones about her motivation for her current actions being desire to have revenge on all male footballers and the entire football world. Now, it seems that the story is something along the lines of the following:

• this young woman was attracted by what she considered (although not in these words) to be the glamour of "hot" footballers;


• as a result of the sex she had, she wound up pregnant;


• while pregnant, she took action which made the media, possibly not the ideal action to take, and possibly not clearly thought through (e.g., why not just take a paternity suit against father?), but the police investigation led to a determination that no illegal behaviour had occurred (on any part, presumably);


• while this matter was in the media, the young woman states that she was abused by others when took action;


• her children were stillborn, and she now is taking action to seek vengeance (highly reported in the media) AND to warn other young women not to become involved with young footballers (not so widely reported in the media);


• today I read an article in the online edition of "The Age" where senior columnist Karen Kissane claims this young woman is behaving as a woman has been scorned - but one who is "at the age of narcissism" who also has access to Internet.

Now, some immediate reactions I have here are:

• not all young males are "bad" people, nor is it a case that all young females are "bad";


• some young people, male and female, ARE "bad" - just as some older people, male and female are "bad";


• some young people at that age can be a downright pain - as can some older people;


• lot of males and females, old and young, are actually simply trying to do the best that they can - as has the AFL been trying to do on the issue of respect;


• as the young woman herself is reported to have posted, we don't know those involved, so we shouldn't judge them: that is true, but that applies to both sides so I won't pre-judge the footballers as she seems to be asking us to do either (this lack of having full information is something which often applies to media reporting);


• I don't see much basis for Kissane's assertion that this is a woman scorned, but that might be just my engineering/activist-focused-on-precision-and-legal-implications bent coming out.

Actually, that is probably my main point here: most of the time in life we don't know the full story - even for things we are part of. Soooo ..... don't leap to too many conclusions/judgements.

That also includes:

• don't judge those older than yourself ...

... they might actually know what they're talking about :D

Now, links. I've deliberately held off putting links in until now, so you could read and think about this. Some links I would like to include here, though, are:

• AFL;


• problems of sexism and racism in football: here, here, here, here and here;


• article by Karen Kissane from The Age website [1];


• general views on the problems of sexism, racism and ageism, and views on social power, revenge, adolescence, bitchiness, and my past posts relating to maturity/immaturity [2].

As you work through those links, keep in mind that, spiritually speaking, someone who could be considered an adult chronologically, may actually be a young (or very young) soul ... and vice versa.

Now, just to throw a different perspective on this, we're just watching the film "Little Man Tate", about (to over-simplify!) a child prodigy - which is a word I hate, as a result of being on the receiving end as a teenager: it cut me off from my peers (until I took up sailing).

Finally, the day after I wrote the above, the young woman, who has reportedly now been told to appear in court and is apparently making light of, or ignoring it, is claimed to have told The Age:

The teenager admitted her revenge campaign against the AFL and St Kilda might not have been thought out. ''I think that I have handled the situation immaturely, but I would not say that I am mentally unstable,'' she told The Age.

(See here).

So ... where are we?

Well, the train of thought I had been having when I started this was along the lines of:

• "young soul"-type people tend to be sure that what they are doing is right, whether it is or isn't, whether they are a (to use Kissane's wording) narcissistic teenager lacking in life experience or an older person who has become set in a small-minded rut because of lots of repetitive, limited life experience;


• "old soul" type people will be aware that there are other points of view, many shades of grey, and that they could be wrong in anything they are doing (but will still do the best that they can, sticking to what they consider to be most inclusive and considerate and spiritual as they do so).

In the case of the young woman who is the centre of the current media storm, I do not know "The Truth" of the matters - and I have no interest or inclination to waste any of my time, energy or abilities trying to find out what is "The Truth". It does, however, illustrate aspects of young soul-old soul behaviour on BOTH sides.

(It also raises the issue of what is appropriate "punishment" for whoever has done any wrongs - and that includes the football players, AFL and media, not just the young woman who is being focused on - who has made the mistake of treating the courts casually, thereby giving an impression she thinks she is above the law [see here].)

On the Young Soul behaviour, I would like to have a neat 'n' natty little way of describing this. I thought of inventing a new phrase and acronym (PAPH), but you can't say that without risking blowing a raspberry, so maybe not ...

Oh, PAPH stands for "Passive/Aggressive Proselytising Hubris".

Hubris - pride and self centred arrogance, the emotion which is often described as going before a fall

Proselytising - this was included to cover the tendency of Young Souls to advocate their way as the Sole Way to all and sundry, whether those Young Souls are old TV evangelists, or young 'uns who won't listen to any other points of view

Passive - for an example of PAH, see the film "The Scarlet Letter": it covers a range of social control mechanisms through socialisation, exclusion/inclusion controls (see - to put my tongue into my cheek - your neighbourhood corner group of teenagers for a working study [3])

Aggressive - for the evangelistic types of behaviours, including - if she is WRONG/LYING - the young woman I have mentioned.

See also "passive aggressive".)

Maybe a better way to get a nifty handle on this is to invent a new word. Let's see ... no, maybe I'll just stick with pugnacious or truculent as words to use for "Young Soul"-type behaviour.

Now, for a future post, maybe I'll write about how I got myself out of that stage, a looong time ago ...

Update: this article inclines me more towards Kissane's position of a woman s corned ...

Love, light, hugs and blessings

Gnwmythr

Notes:

1. Teen adds tech touch to wrath of a woman scorned, 22nd December, 2010 - 3:00AM
2. See here, here, here, here, here and here.
3. Although I have touched upon the problems of bullying before - see,. for instance, the book "Queen bees and Wannabes".

This post's photo is yet to be posted.

Tags: attitudes, prejudice, racism, sexism, sport, youth, young soul, old soul, maturity, immaturity,

First published: Thorsdagr 23rd December, 2010

Last edited: Sunday 26th December, 2010