Unfortunately, it took me a little while to learn that. Now, I have no hesitation in telling graduates and engineering students that their degree is simply a Licence to START learning ...
This self put down has been a problem in other areas of my life as well - for instance, holding off on relationships before I transitioned, ostensibly because the other people were better than me. In the magical world, it has taken me some time to realise just how much I learned and developed from things like Lobsang Rampa's books, and being a student at ASPECTS,, and to realise that I should not hold back.
One of the problems I encounter when trying to not hold back, though, is occasionally a difference in ability with words: particularly in the magical/spiritual world, people can come out with pompous rubbish at times, but I may not have the words to fight them in any sort of useful way. I particularly find this when in discussions with Buddhists who have a Western ethnicity: the conversation is generally along the lines of which school you've been to, what mantra you use, etc, etc, etc - all very valuable in its own way, but when I ask people like this (which was the last last time I ran into someone like this, when helping to organise a queer spirituality conference in 2005) "How are you a different person for being a Buddhist?", they can't say.
This line of thought cropped up for me again today, when I was reading today's article about the kid in a school who snapped and fought back against a tormentor - the video has gone viral, but the article I am referring to is here. This in turn builds on an earlier article here. [4]
I have to say, today's article has got it all pretty right: I know violence is wrong, but I am so glad to see the kid stand up for himself and, in the course of doing so, actually quite probably teach the other kid a lesson [1]. Yes, he could have killed the attacker, yes there are better ways to handle this, BUT those better ways do NOT include:
- telling a teacher (my experience of this from Grade 4 is that this can be quite terrifying - and one of the people quoted in the earlier article has the good sense to say this option does not have good results);
- telling the bully how being the victim of the bully "makes" one feel (that is just reinforcing the bully's actions by showing that the desired result is happening);
- turning and walking away (as today's article points out, that's an invitation to get king hit in the back of the neck).
Today's article ends with two words of advice: "judo lessons". If that is what works, if that is what makes the kid concerned feel confident enough to deal with the bullying effectively, then great - so be it.
For someone like me, it's learning about spiritual and psychic matters: those techniques DO NOT NECESSARILY WORK FOR OTHERS.
One size does not fit all, and being able to verbally out-joust others does not make one right any more than being able to aggravate others or slam dunk or otherwise physically out-joust others.
One of the other key points here is, just as the occurrence of disasters is a test to see if others care enough to get involved, the spectators/witnesses around bullying also have a key part to play - they are the third leg of the bullying triangle I posted about once before. [2]
PS - I have been rather busy doing spirit rescue [3] work as a result of the terrible earthquake in Japan. Interestingly enough, I am also finding I am rescuing people from the earthquake in Christchurch and in Sichuan in 2008. I also find, by the way, that some people who are stuck in a cloud of denial (which is well described in Lobsang Rampa's book "Three Lives"), sometimes get jolted out of their cloud of denial or confusion when their body is discovered ... so my rescue work continues throughout the "search and recovery" phase. If I get time, I may post a ritual which others could try using. One thought which came to me today is that, if there is something in the ritual that you do not understand or know how to do, then - provided you have good enough protection set up - you could ask your positive Guides to do whatever it is that is meant to be done, and wait patiently. I did this in my early days in circle in the 80s at times - for instance, I once saw everyone pointing the palms of their hands towards someone who was upset, and did so and asked to do whatever it was they were doing - and found my hands getting warmer as healing started to flow ... (I then panicked and stopped, but that's another story :) ).
Love, light, hugs and blessings
Gnwmythr
(pronounced "new-MYTH-ear")
Notes:
- Learning cannot all be achieved by positive means: some negative experience is, unfortunately, necessary because of the lack of evolution of us lot living on this planet.
- I sometimes do some fiction writing (don't worry - I won't give up my day job :) ), and one story I have in mind will examine the similarities and differences between merging families and company taleovers and invading other countries ...
- See my previous posts, including here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here.
- More links: here, which talks about the challenges in having an effective anti-bullying policy, here, on a different bullying incident (where a father takes his bullying kids to the police, and others will be added as I find them :)
Tags: aggression, violence, school, children, learning styles, education, communication, personal characteristics,
First published: Thorsdagr, 17th March, 2011
Last edited: Sunday, 20th March, 2011
