. . . when it is a normal meet-someone-who-has-died, and help-them-pass-over.
Last night I helped a kitten who had died pass over. The kitten had just died, so wasn't earthbound, but had died of neglect so needed some healing and love (after which our cat showed signs of jealousy, so got some midnight pats ). Those sorts of situations always deepend my astral experience, so I could feel the kitten's fur, and his purr - and, I think, a heartbeat.
I'll have to meditate on that last sensation: we circulate energy, not blood in the astral, and still have the heart chakra: does it have a beat?
I also rescued some children who had died in Syria. They died hiding - not all in the same incident, and had spent some time earthbound, still hiding after their deaths. We had a game for them: I had a crystal disguised as a rock, and each of the kids got to touch it and name what we would all pretend it was - so the rock was a lady bug flying from nose to nose, a dinosaur (small, and scared of the bigger kids around it), a piece of paper, and so on. When the kids' mood had been lifted enough, other guides invited them in to a meal, which would further heal and strengthen them before they passed over, and I gave the stone to a small, shy boy who had been hanging back on the edge of the group, but was now smiling at the fun: in physical life, I felt he had been disabled in some way, now, he got to be the keeper of the rock.
I hate war and suffering - there are so much better ways to learn. If there is a major lesson to being incarnated on this Third Rock from the Sun, it is that: learn to learn as efficiently as you can - important stuff: human stuff, how to be a better human being, or a better sentient being.
We're all deeply scarred on this planet - well, almost all of us. When your psyche is scarred, that lesson can be hard, as can just being a decent person. However, just as physical scars can be adapted to, so can the scars of the psyche, in many (not all) cases: the quickest, most effieicnt and effective adaptation is try to be kinder.
