Post No. 2,477 - Some personally momentous books: Jessica Wildfire's "Unlikable", Gabor Maté's "The Myth of Normal", and "The Dreaming Path"

I am currently reading two books that I relate to strongly - no, three. 

The one I just remembered to add is “The Dreaming Path: Indigenous Thinking to Change Your Life” by Paul Callaghan and Uncle Paul Gordon (Pantera Press, Neutral Bay, NSW, 2022, ISBN 978-0-6487952-7-8; Amazon, Readings, Apple), which I have mentioned here and here. 

That book is a near perfect encapsulation of many of the spiritual principles and practices I have tried to live by. It doesn't include the specific breathing exercises, colour work, astral travel, clearing and healing techniques I use, but almost everything else is there - and the principles which are the foundation for the specific exercises I mentioned. 

If I had come across that book as a teenager, as well as books like Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World”, I consider I could have achieved my spiritual growth far more effectively in this life. 

I hope I do find them early on in my next incarnation(s). 

The second book I will mention here is Gabor and Daniel Maté’s  book  “The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture”, which I have already mentioned in posts here, here, here, here, here, and here.  

In a far too short nutshell - and keeping in mind I am still reading all three of these books, “The Myth of Normal” is about the trauma caused by “modern” western/westernised cultures, something I have written and spoken about, often under the label “social conditioning”. 

To quote from that book:

“As Fromm put it, often people’s behavior is not a matter of conscious decision to follow the social pattern, but of “wanting to act as they have to act.” In this way a culture creates members who will serve its purposes. It is instructive to juxtapose reality with fiction. In Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World, individuals are “so conditioned that they practically can’t help behaving as they ought to behave.” Thus, what is considered normal and natural are established not by what is good for people, but by what is expected of them, which traits and attitudes serve the maintenance of the culture. These are then enshrined as “human nature,” while deviations from them are seen as abnormal.”

In other words, social conditioning. 

I haven’t got to the end of “The Myth of Normal” yet (although I have had a few sneak peeks), so I haven’t properly read the proposed solutions to that trauma, but solutions are discussed or hinted at throughout the book, and “The Dreaming Path” is a book full of solutions. 

I have subsequently found Gabor Maté is anti-neurodivergent: see “Why Dr Gabor Mate' is Worse Than Wrong About ADHD”   https://youtu.be/bO19LWJ0ZnM?si=0K-F78xW6ZeklNcR   Neurodivergence is one of those conditions which, as with same sex/gender attraction and gender divergence, needs to be accepted and welcomed, not “cured” or prevented.

I may not need to finish writing a little book I have tentatively titled “The Scarred of Modern Life” after all - and I do plan on doing quite a bit of writing when retire, including book versions of my courses and at least some of the content of my websites, so stay tuned - but it may be not until the end of year before I have anything available (probably on Amazon, but you can check in on this page from time to time - I'll change the title when something is available).

So ... I can relate very strongly to what is in those two books.

I also relate very strongly to what is in Jessica  Wildfire’s “Unlikable: A Guide for Different Minds”. 

This is an author I have followed in a number of locations - probably first on Medium, I think, and I subscribe to her Substack feed.

What I probably have found most useful out of all that is useful in this book is the concept of sentinel people - which, to be honest, I have found in other writing by this author, but this is where I found it best explained. 

“Psychologists have a different name for you. You’re an orchid. You have sentinel intelligence. You have the closest thing to superpowers that exist. Use them. Sentinel intelligence refers to a special cognitive ability that allows someone to detect threats before anyone else. If you have sentinel intelligence, your brain can sift through extraordinary amounts of information in a short period of time. You can pull out important details.” 

“Western culture heaps judgment on orchids and sentinels. We’re called weak and emotional. We’re attacked for feeling. The data suggests it’s not a weakness at all. It’s a strength. We detect threats. We protect people. We’re not a liability. We’re valuable. If you have sentinel intelligence, you probably struggle to explain your reasons for precaution. You probably get angry at all the wishful thinking and toxic optimism out there. You probably feel more compassion toward strangers. You care more about the greater good. You’re more willing to shoulder inconveniences for the sake of others. You don’t mind looking strange or even paranoid.”

There is a lot of excellent content in “Unlikable” about emotions as well - whether you are neurodivergent or not, in my opinion. 

For example: 

“Western culture often doesn’t allow anyone the time they need to feel their emotions. Maybe that’s why the platitudes annoy us. Everyone’s secretly waiting for us to stop feeling sad. They want to expedite the grief process. They want to rush us back to normal, so they can go on producing and consuming.” 

“It’s bad to try and bypass your emotions. They always leak out. The harder you try to tamp them down, the more you set yourself up for anxiety attacks and rage fits. Maybe you’ve noticed.” 

“... anger. It’s always there for a lot of them. It’s waiting to burst out. Look at the viral videos. Look at the road rage. Look at the shootings. People are walking time bombs of anger and violence. Nobody gives them a minute to sit down and process their emotions. They feel like failures because they don’t spark joy 24/ 7.” 

I agree. 

Here’s some content on goals/accomplishment:

“Here’s something I’ve noticed: Most people like the idea of having something. They like the idea of achieving something. They don’t actually want to have it. They don’t actually want to do” 

“Then I spent some time asking why I really wanted it. I figured it out. My favorite authors all had nice libraries in their homes. I found myself guilty of consuming library porn.”

“You have an inner pest. It doesn’t matter if you want to try and accomplish something. There’s a voice inside your head that compels you to give it a shot. It won’t shut up until you do it.”

Have I stimulated your inner pest into wanting to read these books? 

I hope so. 

I’m not going to try to précis these books - I’m not those authors, so I couldn’t if I tried ... and if those authors, who are the experts in the fields of their books, thought they needed to be that length, then they needed to be that length, and it would be impertinent (not to mention downright arrogant) of me to think otherwise. As it is, although “The Myth of Normal” is a long and comprehensive book, “Unlikable” is relatively short length, and very readable. 

If you cannot afford to buy the books (noting, for instance, that “Unlikable” is very affordably priced), then go to a public library and borrow them.

One final comment: I don’t agree with everything that these authors write. I am NOT going to say what I disagree with, Dear Reader, as I wish YOU to read these books and make  up  your  own  mind.

Possible flaws 

Where I can, I will try to highlight possible flaws / issues you should consider:

• there may be flawed logical arguments in the above: to find out more about such flaws and thinking generally, I recommend Brendan  Myers’ free online course “Clear and Present Thinking”;  
• I could be wrong - so keep your thinking caps on, and make up your own minds for yourself.
  

 

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Finally, remember: we need to be more human being rather than human doing.

 

 

Post No. 2,357 - What is the term for the opposite of wisdom?

So I got to wondering recently: what is the term for the opposite of wisdom?

This came about as I saw plenty of examples of behaviour that constitutes the opposite of wisdom - I’ll list some below - and wondered how to describe them. 

I looked up a list of antonyms, of course, but - despite the list being excellent from a literacy point of view - a lot of those are either wishy washy nothings (a bit like calling people fools, which has next to no impact in the modern world - sort of “oh I wouldn't do that if I was you”) or had so many other meetings that they lacked specificity or impact. 

I could try using something like un-wisdom, but that also covers neutral behaviour and lacks impact. 

No, I suspect the term I am looking for is antiwisdom - a bit like antiracist is the term for the effective opposite to, or counter of, racism.

OK, so having adopted (developed?) that term, the examples. 

But firstly, I am reading an utterly brilliant book titled “The Dreaming Path: Indigenous Thinking to Change Your Life” by Paul Callaghan and Uncle Paul Gordon (Pantera Press, Neutral Bay, NSW, 2022, ISBN 978-0-6487952-7-8; Amazon, Readings, Apple). I struggle for words to describe the book, so perhaps I can say it combines the best of all the spiritual growth work I have done over the last century with the best of Indigenous spiritual/personal/social growth thinking and practices in a way that warmly affirms what I have long thought whilst also building on that in ways I didn’t realise were possible.

Anything that is anti, undermining of, or in conflict with that book fits into my new category of antiwisdom. 

Anything that is anti, undermining of, or in conflict with, the concept of antiracism - and all other version of antibigotry - constitutes antiwisdom.

The active evil that I wrote about here and in many other places is antiwisdom.

And the following from everyday life are ALL either antiwisdom or fail to take the opportunity to be wise: 

• trying to “push though” illness or any other message from your body saying “slow down”; 
• all views that we should be spending more than ~4 hours/day max meeting survival needs - “The Dreaming Path” suggests ~ 1-2 hours/day was adequate for the Indigenous people to meet survival needs, leaving plenty of time for self care, social care, and spiritual/personal growth care. Other sources I’ve read suggest 25 - 30 hours/week met gatherer-hunters’ survival needs, and there is probably some seasonal variation in this, but, given modern knowledge,. technology, and resources, really no-one should be spending more than 2 - 4 hours/day on survival needs - including housework;
  
• all views, actions, inactions and misconceptions promoting endurance/acceptance (such as toxic positivity and this) that support the patriarchy - specially when that is because those antiwise people are doing so because they are bored or do not know what to do with their time; 
• similarly to the previous point for neoliberal capitalism; 
• a recent advertisement I saw for a key DEI position which was using the “were touch and have egregious expectations” line of BS - an ad which clearly showed those who placed it were utterly clueless about what DEI requires ... and this ad was being placed because the company had been criticised for being abusive!!! (needless to say, I did NOT consider applying - there was nothing inspirational in the ad, only antiwisdom).

When I was in my 20s, another resident in the block of flats I was in had a mental health crisis after a relationship break up, and sometimes crept around the flats in the middle of the night calling out to other residents and even claiming to have a knife. The police were called a couple of times, and I wound up talking to them the last time they came out. I was asked my opinion, and said he had been struggling after a relationship breakup, and just needed a bit of guidance. They apparently did that - talked to him, and I was even thanked by the person concerned later, but he eventually continued to have problems as he wasn’t receiving the ongoing support he needed. 

A similar incident occurred at work with a young man who thought it was OK to email a video of a police car bing machine gunned as “people needed to know what things happened”. Well, at that time I had a friend who was a serving police officer so I already knew what could happen, and made a complaint to management which led to effective support and counselling. 

Good mentoring/counselling (in the informal sense) can make a difference, but that concept has also been abused by the antiwise (especially those who support white supremacism, the patriarchy, neoliberalism, or the antiwise forms of capitalism), which has, in the hands of those who struggle with nuance / ethics or are inclined towards “throwing the baby out with the bathwater” (possibly because they want to demonstrate what they mistakenly think is moral superiority), left a sour taste about such things. 

There is the potential for good - wise - examples and guidance, and, frankly, the use of questionable phrases such as “don’t do stupid stuff” (Obama’s team), or “no ****heads” in some sporting clubs, often gets the point across to those who need to understand it.

Wise actions can be taken, but that sometimes needs courage as well a commitment to UDHR-style ethics. 

In my case, I recently blocked a transphobe on Medium, and I am now feeling safe enough to post there (when I have the time and energy).

Businesses and the media (mainstream and social) need to avoid the antiwisdom trap of “bothsidesism”, and ensure the broader picture is fair, equitable and inclusive. Expressing hate or fear is NOT expressing an opinion. When someone does that, counter that antiwisdom by being wise and reining them in and countering the evil they have done - including contradicting the claims that it is free speech.

I had an example of that on social media when a troll said censorship - meaning the imposition of decency - was stopping people expressing their opinions. No, what was being complained about was stopping people indulging in hate speech. Trolls - such as the transphobic one I blocked on medium - are the ones who are stopping free speech. 

And people with influence / power or in positions of responsibility need to stop being moral cowards and accessories to antiwisdom by taking a moral, principled, wise stand. 

PS - a friend joked that the opposite of wisdom could maybe be wisdom teeth 😁

 

Assumptions / basis 

In writing this, I have assumed / started from the following: 

• decency matters, as does diversity, equity, and inclusion, and wisdom and mature, balanced  spirituality;

Possible flaws 

Where I can, I will try to highlight possible flaws / issues you should consider: 

• there may be flawed logical arguments in the above: to find out more about such flaws and thinking generally, I recommend Brendan  Myers’ free online course “Clear and Present Thinking”;  
• I could be wrong - so keep your thinking caps on, and make up your own minds for yourself.
  

 

If you appreciated this post, please consider promoting it - there are some links below.
I am on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Gnwmythr.

Finally, remember: we need to be more human being rather than human doing.