Post No. 2,477 - Some personally momentous books: Jessica Wildfire's "Unlikable", Gabor Maté's "The Myth of Normal", and "The Dreaming Path"

I am currently reading two books that I relate to strongly - no, three. 

The one I just remembered to add is “The Dreaming Path: Indigenous Thinking to Change Your Life” by Paul Callaghan and Uncle Paul Gordon (Pantera Press, Neutral Bay, NSW, 2022, ISBN 978-0-6487952-7-8; Amazon, Readings, Apple), which I have mentioned here and here. 

That book is a near perfect encapsulation of many of the spiritual principles and practices I have tried to live by. It doesn't include the specific breathing exercises, colour work, astral travel, clearing and healing techniques I use, but almost everything else is there - and the principles which are the foundation for the specific exercises I mentioned. 

If I had come across that book as a teenager, as well as books like Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World”, I consider I could have achieved my spiritual growth far more effectively in this life. 

I hope I do find them early on in my next incarnation(s). 

The second book I will mention here is Gabor and Daniel Maté’s  book  “The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture”, which I have already mentioned in posts here, here, here, here, here, and here.  

In a far too short nutshell - and keeping in mind I am still reading all three of these books, “The Myth of Normal” is about the trauma caused by “modern” western/westernised cultures, something I have written and spoken about, often under the label “social conditioning”. 

To quote from that book:

“As Fromm put it, often people’s behavior is not a matter of conscious decision to follow the social pattern, but of “wanting to act as they have to act.” In this way a culture creates members who will serve its purposes. It is instructive to juxtapose reality with fiction. In Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World, individuals are “so conditioned that they practically can’t help behaving as they ought to behave.” Thus, what is considered normal and natural are established not by what is good for people, but by what is expected of them, which traits and attitudes serve the maintenance of the culture. These are then enshrined as “human nature,” while deviations from them are seen as abnormal.”

In other words, social conditioning. 

I haven’t got to the end of “The Myth of Normal” yet (although I have had a few sneak peeks), so I haven’t properly read the proposed solutions to that trauma, but solutions are discussed or hinted at throughout the book, and “The Dreaming Path” is a book full of solutions. 

I have subsequently found Gabor Maté is anti-neurodivergent: see “Why Dr Gabor Mate' is Worse Than Wrong About ADHD”   https://youtu.be/bO19LWJ0ZnM?si=0K-F78xW6ZeklNcR   Neurodivergence is one of those conditions which, as with same sex/gender attraction and gender divergence, needs to be accepted and welcomed, not “cured” or prevented.

I may not need to finish writing a little book I have tentatively titled “The Scarred of Modern Life” after all - and I do plan on doing quite a bit of writing when retire, including book versions of my courses and at least some of the content of my websites, so stay tuned - but it may be not until the end of year before I have anything available (probably on Amazon, but you can check in on this page from time to time - I'll change the title when something is available).

So ... I can relate very strongly to what is in those two books.

I also relate very strongly to what is in Jessica  Wildfire’s “Unlikable: A Guide for Different Minds”. 

This is an author I have followed in a number of locations - probably first on Medium, I think, and I subscribe to her Substack feed.

What I probably have found most useful out of all that is useful in this book is the concept of sentinel people - which, to be honest, I have found in other writing by this author, but this is where I found it best explained. 

“Psychologists have a different name for you. You’re an orchid. You have sentinel intelligence. You have the closest thing to superpowers that exist. Use them. Sentinel intelligence refers to a special cognitive ability that allows someone to detect threats before anyone else. If you have sentinel intelligence, your brain can sift through extraordinary amounts of information in a short period of time. You can pull out important details.” 

“Western culture heaps judgment on orchids and sentinels. We’re called weak and emotional. We’re attacked for feeling. The data suggests it’s not a weakness at all. It’s a strength. We detect threats. We protect people. We’re not a liability. We’re valuable. If you have sentinel intelligence, you probably struggle to explain your reasons for precaution. You probably get angry at all the wishful thinking and toxic optimism out there. You probably feel more compassion toward strangers. You care more about the greater good. You’re more willing to shoulder inconveniences for the sake of others. You don’t mind looking strange or even paranoid.”

There is a lot of excellent content in “Unlikable” about emotions as well - whether you are neurodivergent or not, in my opinion. 

For example: 

“Western culture often doesn’t allow anyone the time they need to feel their emotions. Maybe that’s why the platitudes annoy us. Everyone’s secretly waiting for us to stop feeling sad. They want to expedite the grief process. They want to rush us back to normal, so they can go on producing and consuming.” 

“It’s bad to try and bypass your emotions. They always leak out. The harder you try to tamp them down, the more you set yourself up for anxiety attacks and rage fits. Maybe you’ve noticed.” 

“... anger. It’s always there for a lot of them. It’s waiting to burst out. Look at the viral videos. Look at the road rage. Look at the shootings. People are walking time bombs of anger and violence. Nobody gives them a minute to sit down and process their emotions. They feel like failures because they don’t spark joy 24/ 7.” 

I agree. 

Here’s some content on goals/accomplishment:

“Here’s something I’ve noticed: Most people like the idea of having something. They like the idea of achieving something. They don’t actually want to have it. They don’t actually want to do” 

“Then I spent some time asking why I really wanted it. I figured it out. My favorite authors all had nice libraries in their homes. I found myself guilty of consuming library porn.”

“You have an inner pest. It doesn’t matter if you want to try and accomplish something. There’s a voice inside your head that compels you to give it a shot. It won’t shut up until you do it.”

Have I stimulated your inner pest into wanting to read these books? 

I hope so. 

I’m not going to try to précis these books - I’m not those authors, so I couldn’t if I tried ... and if those authors, who are the experts in the fields of their books, thought they needed to be that length, then they needed to be that length, and it would be impertinent (not to mention downright arrogant) of me to think otherwise. As it is, although “The Myth of Normal” is a long and comprehensive book, “Unlikable” is relatively short length, and very readable. 

If you cannot afford to buy the books (noting, for instance, that “Unlikable” is very affordably priced), then go to a public library and borrow them.

One final comment: I don’t agree with everything that these authors write. I am NOT going to say what I disagree with, Dear Reader, as I wish YOU to read these books and make  up  your  own  mind.

Possible flaws 

Where I can, I will try to highlight possible flaws / issues you should consider:

• there may be flawed logical arguments in the above: to find out more about such flaws and thinking generally, I recommend Brendan  Myers’ free online course “Clear and Present Thinking”;  
• I could be wrong - so keep your thinking caps on, and make up your own minds for yourself.
  

 

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