I'm going to begin this with a digression: I am finding that the category of book I am most likely to read in a single or a few consecutive sittings is "autobiography". Recently, I bought "Swansong", by Barbara Swanson, and have found it very engaging - I appreciate the "revelation" that seemingly "ordinary" people can have had extraordinary lives, I honour and appreciate her courage and her caring, and I am intrigued by the interaction with other autobiographies - specifically, someone who was one of the people written about in "Call the Midwife".
In terms of human interest, Bob Lazar's autobiography "Dreamland" (pub. Interstellar, 2019, ISBN 978-0-578-52676-4; Amazon) meets what I am looking for: human interest, and, in this case, an insight in to what motivated a science nut (I tend to associate the term "geek" more with PCs). Mr Lazar clearly had some human failings - mainly, what I would term his inability to relate to others' emotions, a failing that, IMO, contributed to him not noticing the warning signs before his first wife's suicide, and failing to notice that he had more or less emotionally abandoned his second wife.
However, the part that most people would probably want to have read about is Mr Lazar's experiences inside the government bureaucracy - and there were some interesting insights on that.
This was someone who specifically stated that they were comfortable with the "need to know" mentality behind secrecy in both government and private sector, who wanted to use science and solve puzzles for the betterment of all, and was frustrated by not being able to get his security clearance (owing to his second wife's infidelity - which in turn I consider related to his limited emotional quotient) and by the slowing of progress that the compartmentalisation enacted in response to the secrecy-paranoia of the military-government bureaucracy caused.
Mr Lazar talks about some of his naïve "pranks" (such as filling garbage bags with venting helium, sealing them with "danger radiation" tape and letting them fly off - not realising the alarm that would be caused when they came down) and foibles (such as an interest in explosives and doing things like adding a jet engine to a car), and has a few touches of humour ("being in a library had a calming effect on me. But you know you’ve got a lot on your mind when an article on microsecond plasma pulses in MW range can’t hold your attention").
For someone like that to be in such fear for his life (apart from the constant surveillance, he writes that had a tyre shot out by a car that seemed to be trying to run him off the road) that he took the measures he did is significant.
I have to admit that it is things like this that are where my LBI becomes active. I can accept that extreme levels of secrecy exist in things like nuclear weapons programmes (I have lived experience of what problems "commercial-in-confidence" can cause), that the military mind doesn't understand creativity / collaboration, that the Newtonian worldview (including the military mind as a subset) twists everything into a dangerous, destructive, and backward "us and them" view, that the extreme levels of surveillance (that Edward Snowden has revealed) and violence (that Russia is most conspicuous in, of late [see also here, here, here, and here] ) exist, and even that there may be a cover-up that was started over fears of public panic and military paranoia back in the late 40s and 50s, but where my mind flinches * , is at the extent of inside-government collusion and abrogation of democracy that the existence of secret treaties that some in the UFO / UAP world write about (I've written about my concerns and doubts previously - e.g., see here).
In the case of Mr Lazar, I actually consider that George Knapp seems to be a reasonable journalist, and that he and the TV station he works at trust him enough to report this seriously, key factors in assessing Mr Lazar as genuine.
But now, even more compelling is what Mr Lazar has written in terms of the consequences of his actions. There is no sense to me that he is simply continuing with a prank that he is too deep into to get out of. This comes across as real, and far from providing any personal gratification - although he is still alive, and I know Stephen Greer refers to taking similar measures in response to fearing for his life.
From his book:
"I have to live with that regret and a bunch of others as well. This is no fairy tale. We all didn’t live happily ever after. A lot of innocent people got hurt as a result of me stepping forward. People lost security clearances, jobs, possible futures because of their association with me and my revealing to them what I did. That’s hard to deal with, but is in no way as hard as the consequences they had to face. Over the years, I’ve tried to do what I can to make amends, but words fall short and gestures fail.
. . .
Unlike a lot of people who’ve lived through a really rough period and come out on the other side who say, “If I had to do it over again, I wouldn’t change a thing,” I would. I wouldn’t have come forward. I should have probably just waited things out after learning about Tracy’s affair. I would have been more patient and lived with the hope that once that matter was all settled I could have gone to work at S4 full time. I had a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to work at the forefront of science, and I pissed it away. Sure, there are the ethical implications of what was going on out there, but at heart, I’m a scientist."
I have to give that considerable credit, and that means I have to restrain my LBI and consider this carefully.
* Where my heart flinches is at the bigotry (and my heart and mind also flinch at the conspiracy fantasy / RWNJ elements) of the UFO / "UAP" field.
