The title of this post says it all:
the unspoken rules around what to do, think, and be in order to “fit in” socially - to not be alone, lonely, or what is considered improperly or inadequately socially connected - are, in fact, a form of social conditioning that allows people to be manipulated into much that is harmful ... or even evil ...
I have written about this is many places, and it includes things such as:
- being flummoxed by different reactions - such as when I did not need to know where an end of year work event was being held before I declined to go (which was for ethical reasons);
- confusing “doing what I was socially conditioned by my parents/peers/society into doing” with “thinking deeply about why I do things and what those things are/should be”;
- agreeing to social events that one doesn’t want to go to in order not to possibly appear/be thought of as “weird”.
Voltaire is the source of the saying:
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
Some of those absurdities include the unwritten fears of social conditioning - such as ... that being different is inherently wrong (consider that those who opposed the fascists in Germany and Italy were considered weird, just as those who tried to counter white supremacism in Australia were considered weird by almost everyone until the late 20th century), being unable to cope with other people living their lives differently (such as the invasively rude amathiac who thought they could remove a wedge I had placed to prevent mould in a shower cubicle by keeping the door slightly open and then argued with me on the basis of what the people who lived there wanted - despite me being one of those people who lived there [this is a common problem for neurodiverse people: amathiac and invasively rude neurotypical [NT] people moving possessions ... I’ve also had it with NTs thinking things should be “put away”, meaning “out of sight” - which was (a) wrong, and (b) likely to result in things NOT being used]), and expecting people in corporate situations to go along with ethically/morally/legally questionable expectations/behaviour that harms heath or fails to put the wellbeing of the community above corporate profits - something which is probably most apparent now in what is suspected to be corporate price gouging by supermarkets, which requires cooperative actions all the way down to the shelf stackers who mark the (possibly overinflated) prices on the shelves ...
Where your fear of being alone puts you at risk of being manipulated, I urge you to get whatever counselling or other help you need to be able to accept that some situations may require you to undergo a certain amount (not excessive) of emotional pain (e.g., not having as much social contact as you wish, although you should have what you GENUINELY need) in order to not be a part of doing wrong - or even doing evil, as many stooges/sock puppets in the US republican party are doing ...
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Remember: we generally need to be more human being rather than human doing, to mind our Mӕgan, and to acknowledge that all misgendering is an act of active transphobia/transmisia that puts trans+ lives at risk & accept that all insistence on the use of “trans” as a descriptor comes with commensurate use of “cis” as a descriptor to prevent “othering” (just as binary gendered [men’s and women’s] sporting teams are either both given the gender descriptor, or neither).Copyright © Kayleen White 2007-2024 NO AI
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