I would describe that last point as "being honourable". Honour is of great personal importance to me - partly it always has, partly that was increased when I studied Druidry, but above all, it is important to me because I belong to Tyr (you may know this relationship as "Patron Deity", but I am aware that a Patron Deity is not simply a beneficial influence in your life to try and make your life as you wish it to be: it is more rigorous than, say, simply choosing a deity who's description you like!).
As such, there are things in this life that I try to do which others consider with bemusement - things like sticking to the law, or otherwise doing something to change any laws I consider wrong. When I was young (in my 20s), I would occasionally break the speed limit when driving on long country trips (I used to drive up to 1,000 km in a day for work, by the way) without thinking too much about it, but then I realised that, when I passed my driving test, I had signed and agreed to hold to the road rules. As soon as I made that connection, I started making my very best effort to obey the road rules - which is also safest all round.
I don't always succeed in that, for which I have been given grief by people in my life in the past who made no effort to obey the road rules, but I do make a genuine effort -and, despite those past people's view that my failure to be 100% compliant, my view is that being 99.999% compliant and a little in error is better than their 80% deliberate flouting of the road rules. [4] (Actually, although I say "road rules", they are laws, and many are there for very valid safety reasons.)
I have a bad tendency to get cranky when I see rules being broken out of sheer laziness - for instance, people who have no disability parking illegally so they don't have to walk a couple of hundred metres. That's me being judgemental, which I judge as me being bad. Ah well, I know I've got a lot of things to work on, and, as I've mentioned in previous posts, forgiveness is one of them.
What I have come to realise is that, for me, the problem with forgiveness is when it is abused. I've posted recently about how sorry can be an over-used word - it's become a bit like the Mediaeval practice of "indulgences", which is basically purchase of forgiveness so you can go out the next week and do the same thing again (which was an attitude I saw in "Sunday Christians" when I was a youngster, not even a teenager, and which helped turn me off Christianity).
I've known people who were so casual in their use of words that whatever they said was basically meaningless (and I'm thinking of one person who was close to me over two decades ago in particular). I also live on the receiving end of bigotry and prejudice (which doesn't mean I'm incapable of being prejudiced myself, by the way), and get very frustrated in, for instance, work situations when I have someone apologise for being offensive in such a way that I know they have not changed their fundamental views (I had particular run-ins with a past manager in a previous job who was particularly inept and incompetent at managing human issues, and would pout on a "pseudo-wise father" voice, and then pummel underlings into accepting his superficial, stupid facades of formulaic apologies and the like).
If I consent to give my forgiveness, I want to know that there is some rigour and genuineness on the other person's part, and that it won't be a simple formulaic approach (I've done X, so if I do Y they won't give me a hard time), rather than what it should be, which is along the lines of:
"I've done X, and that has had impact Z, which is wrong because of principle A, and what contributed to me doing that was circumstances, D, E and F, and more fundamentally, personal flaws H, L and M, all of which which I can fix by doing G and Z".
As an example of that, a few night's ago, I made a driving mistake: I changed lanes without looking properly and another car had to take evasive action. It was my fault, my mistake, and potentially caused an accident.
I may have been affected in a number of ways by one of my sister's current illness, and was definitely affected by lack of sleep arising from a combination of circumstances - but part of this also means I will be more willing to say "no". Out of honour, cannot claim allowances for those - it is up to me to manage such influences, same as ALL other drivers, without making excuses.
The other driver was scared, shocked and - understandably - angry (in fact, it's been a while since I have made a mistake like that and had to be on the receiving end of such anger: it was unpleasant, and more than a little scary).
I've identified a number of issues which led to me making that mistake, and have taken actions to address all of them - for instance, I've changed the glasses I wear while driving, as the ones I had on that time have a pattern on the side which interferes with my peripheral vision, and my partner and I will manage navigation issues differently. What I have NOT done is say, "oh gosh, that was almost an accident. Oh well, nothing happened, so all's well".
(I have also seen some brilliant applications of this principle of looking seriously at issues in people close to me over the last couple of years, and have learned from these.)
I have unquestionably been influenced in my attitude to these issues by my training and work on job safety (including as a mine safety officer [5]), and consider that Victoria's laws and requirements on this are now excellent (see here, for instance), but good, rigorous personal development work, as one experiences with a good counsellor (they're not all good, unfortunately) or in a good personal development group, also helps.
As an example, consider an example of some past life work (to understand this, see here and here):
- someone may do a regression where they find they did something to harm another because they were jealous, so they try to address the issue of jealousy now as they clear the karmic energy from that life;
- as they work with the issue, they may realise there are issues of personal insecurity, feeling unloveable and lack of belief in the abundance of the Universe to deal with as well, and they begin working on these issues (through past life therapy, conventional counselling, personal development work and anything else which suits that person); and
- they realise that
(a) problems are like onions: multiple layered and complex, and
(b) as Lobsang Rampa used to write in his books: the more you know, the more you know there is to know.
I wonder what the world would be like if we all tried to be professional about our personal growth, rather than amateurs ...
There is another issue which came out of my driving mistake a few nights ago: I saw what it could be like to be on the receiving end of my hardline attitudes taken to an extreme level. As a result, I've now reached a point where I can start working with the issue of forgiveness, and the separate but related how I deliver my views. I've not done anything about this for a while, as I was still struggling with the issue of forgiveness itself, which I still consider unquestionably over-used and too generously given (albeit mostly by individuals of themselves).
I have a few other thoughts on honour that I would like to include here. A number of groups have various Codes of Ethics (honour), or requirements and obligations - maybe even marked by taking vows and oaths. Yes, honour is important, and commitments that one takes on are important, but one needs to take into consideration that people may have pre-existing, possibly greater commitments.
For instance, someone may wish to study and apply themselves to psychic or spiritual matters, but they may have family obligations (e.g., partner(s) or "young" children, by which I mean anyone less than the legal age of adulthood in their culture): in my view, those take precedence over the person's desires, just as family needs outweigh someone's desire to gamble.
As another example, people may have pre-life commitments which take precedence over those of any group now.
I've mentioned wanting to establish a group called the Rangers of the Inner Plane: this group actually seeks to be honourable by ensuring that members and applicants fulfill their existing obligations before the subsequent obligations of the Rangers. So, for example, if members or applicants have family or other commitments, allow them extra time to meet those obligations.
Going back to the driving incident, I am also rethinking life generally, as I usually do when I have a near miss that is potentially fatal (I had experienced about half a dozen by the time I was 30 [three between the ages of 10 and 18], and they had a major formative impact on me).
Update No. 1:
An engineer I used to work for had a saying: "Show me someone who hasn't made a mistake, and I'll show you someone who hasn't tried to do anything." Quite true in a lot of ways, I think, and there can be a benefit to developing resilience to handle mistakes. I know I refer to the AFL a bit: well, the 2008 loss of Geelong in the Grand Final was, in my humble opinion, an indicvation of what can happen when things go your way too much. Geelong domnated throughout the home-and-away part of the season, then only first came under serious pressure in the Grand Final -and couldn't handle it. So ... a few mistakes can be useful, perhaps.
Love, light, hugs and blessings
Gnwmythr
Notes:
- This means "bush" in the Australian sense, of wild places.
- A price may be as simple as time, energy and effort to learn something, but, for more advanced knowledge, it may be more rigorous.
- The runes don't operate, according to the author, along the lines of "if the universe allows me to do this, I have some sort of cosmic permission", but more along the lines "if you're foolish enough to do this, then so be it and the consequences be upon ye" (my wording). She also talks about the importance of things like getting out of debt yourself, rather than relying on a divination system to fix your lifestyle management failings, before trying to do magical workings :)
- These people effectively stopped me standing for election, as their casual attitude towards obeying the law would have made me as easy target for the media - who would have been giving me a greater level of scrutiny because I am a member of a few minority groups (such as female, lesbian, and pagan).
- I was, technically speaking, Mine Safety Officer. In reality, at the time it was still an operating cattle property which a large company was drilling to find out if the coal that was there was economic to mine. So my job - well, that part of it that had the safety hat on it (I did a lot more than just that - which was quite challenging for a graduate three months out of university!) - largely came down to things like organising advanced driving courses to stop foolish drivers who had never driven in the bush injuring or killing themselves, persuading people to keep car windows clean, etc. Following all that, I now watch how people behave when they think no-one is watching, or that they are in a situation where "it doesn't matter", to assess their level of personal honour (integrity). In my view, it is what you do when "it doesn't matter" that matters.
This post's photo is yet to be posted.
Tags: deities, Galina Krasskova, honour, hypocrisy, Northern Tradition, Patron Deity, personal responsibility, runes, irresponsibility, forgiveness, emotions, Lobsang Rampa,, mirrorology,
First published: Sunday 26th September, 2010
Last edited: Thursday 30th September, 2010
