Post No. 2,800 - The danger of self hate for not being perfect - or better

This has been written about in other ways by many, many, MANY other people ... but I thought I would add a perspective that resonated with me. 

Sometimes, when watching people being courageous, if one wishes one were like that, it can go beyond admiring their courage or something neutral (or even motivating - e.g., “I’m going to try to be like that”) to a forma of self hate or loathing - which is self-destructive, and can manifest in ways such as passive-aggressive behaviour.

Staying with the personal, I find the concept of spoons of courage, which I wrote about here, and the knowledge that people may have evolved over several lifetimes to that position, helpful in having more equanimity about the apparent gap between those I admire/aspire to be like and where I am at now.

Just a thought ... 

Possible flaws 

Where I can, I will try to highlight possible flaws / issues you should consider:

• there may be flawed logical arguments in the above: to find out more about such flaws and thinking generally, I recommend Brendan  Myers’ free online course “Clear and Present Thinking”;  
• I could be wrong - so keep your thinking caps on, and make up your own minds for yourself.
  

 

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Note that I am cutting back on aspects of my posts - see here. 

Remember: we generally need to be more human being rather than human doing, to mind our Mӕgan, and to acknowledge that all misgendering is an act of active transphobia/transmisia that puts trans+ lives at risk & accept that all insistence on the use of “trans” as a descriptor comes with commensurate use of “cis” as a descriptor to prevent “othering” (just as binary gendered [men’s and women’s] sporting teams are either both given the gender descriptor, or neither).

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