Post No. 2,656 - Recovering from a corporate life - Episode 22: Major set back, and hardening of my attitude

For anyone distressed by anything in this post, or for any other reason considering seeking support, resources are available in Australia here, here, and here. In other nations, you will have to do an Internet search using terms such as “mental health support - <your nation>” (which, for instance, may lead to this, this, and this, in the USA, or this, this, and this, in France [biased towards English-language - my apologies]), or perhaps try https://www.befrienders.org/.  

Posts in this series are now listed at https://gnwmythr.blogspot.com/p/recovering-from-corporate-life.html. 

PS - expect these to be edited fairly often. Writing these is part of the healing process, and will bring up more insights,etc.

Well, I have experienced a major set back to my recovery, one which has almost completely destroyed any residual faith in corporatism, but one which has also reaffirmed my faith in the people inside the corporate world. 

I touched on this in my post yesterday on stress response, although I didn’t go into much detail as to the cause, which was that the company I used to work decided that there had been an overpayment to me. 

Now, I’ve had run ins with that part of the company quite a few times, and consider their attitude to be bloody-minded and unreasonable - and that I have generally been right. The issues I have with their latest claim include:

• the time that had passed since I left, as well as not having access to that company’s systems, meant I had no way of accessing information (e.g., what I had entered, as opposed to what had been approved - as those people seemed to often either lack access to , or care about what I had actually) to verify my side of events; 

• I suspect very strongly that the computer systems used have experienced problems (e.g., not sending emails when approved time is short of the requirement - e.g., if a Project Manager decides they want you to charge the time to a different time code); 

• there were inherent problems with tracking unpaid time, but none of the unpaid time that was entered in the system was ever used to offset any shortfalls in officially approved time - which is manifestly unfair & unreasonable, in my opinion, and a denial of natural justice; 

• the attitude and communication suggest strongly to me that they consider I had acted in bad faith - which, considering the amount of overload and the time demands I had coped with, along with things such as providing a world leading course, prepared in my own time after I had left, is, frankly, deeply offensive. 

I contacted some former managers who I consider part of my support network, and they were able to resolve the issue quickly and easily, but this event has had flow on consequences. 

Firstly, it was a major set back to my recovery from corporate life, and caused a panic attack.

Secondly, my skill and knowledge in my speciality was acknowledged by some of the people I spoke to. I have been keeping in mind possibly providing some commentary or input in that area - which would have to be actively supervised, given that I am no longer registered - after I had recovered, but after what I consider the abusive behaviour of the last part of this week, that will not be happening. 

I am ahead of the world in my speciality, and owing to the combination of the problems of registration an corporate callousness, that has been lost to the world.

Bye bye engineering. 

PPS - I’ll keep and treasure my National Association of Women in Construction award, though.

I’ll probably prune my LinkedIn connections, but I will continue the genuine friendships which were formed. 

And my life will continue the shift in focus to other areas.

Blessed be.

PPPS - I have come to a particular realisation with regard to my focus: I am now in a position to pursue my lifelong interest in writing, and am now prepared to accept that I am, indeed, a writer - unpaid, with no formally published books, but, after writing more than 600,000 words in the first seven years and nearly 600 posts of this blog alone, I am a writer. 

That has included being a wordsmith in a number of situations, including for my day job, but I have underplayed the fact that technical and non-fiction writing is still writing. 

So ... to Mrs Gellie, my high school English teacher, you were right: I should consider writing as a career. I’ve got there now, around half a century later, and have most of a lifetime’s worth of experience to enrich and guide what I do. 

Mrs Gellie: I am an unusual,. unconventional writer.

To me: I am a writer. 

PPPPS - the trauma this event has triggered is major.

I am writing this series in the hope that it will contribute to a better understanding - or at least better research into the effects of - the so-called developed world’s economic systems - which are based on the world-destroying amathia of perpetual growth, and patriarchal oligarchical capitalism expressed as often expressed corporatism and neoliberalism.

 

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Remember: we generally need to be more human being rather than human doing, to mind our Mӕgan, and to acknowledge that all misgendering is an act of active transphobia/transmisia that puts trans+ lives at risk.