Ever since I started exploring autism as something I may be, I have considered that I am probably - to use the outmoded, official boxes - level one.
However, I am not so sure ...
There are three years when I was in primary school that I have almost no memories of - just a vague sense of being overwhelmed by the noise and activity of the other kids.
That was the three years I was in Grades One and Two - and I do know I had to repeat Grade One as I was considered not to have adjusted to school. Kindergarten had been fine, but then it took me three years to learn how to mask and deflect the terrifying overload - which may have been helped by an increasing focus on academic work.
On that, one of the few memories I have from Grades One and Two is that I thought Cuisenaire rods were a ridiculous and unnecessary device, which is probably an early indication of where my abilities were - and I acknowledge that the evidence shows they did help other students.
That also, I suspect, showed early my autistic communication issues, as I suspect teachers trying to work with me hadn’t convinced me they were credible, trustworthy and safe, whereas the allistic kids were happily incorporating the teachers - without any testing (tsk, tsk) - into their group of trusted people, simply because someone else (probably their parents) said they could be trusted.
My (adoptive) parents probably said something similar as well, but, while I trusted them, that did not extend to automatically trusting new sources of alleged information.
That is a key point with autism. From my seven points on autism (this is a quotation from a paper - not my words):
“... while most infants “process information through a social bias — meaning their cognitive and emotional development is shaped by constant social interaction. They don’t perceive objects in isolation, but in reference to others: parents, siblings, peers” * , at some point “some babies, for no apparent reason, diverge. They stop processing information through the social bias.”
I am also aware my verbal skills were limited at that time (and still are, in terms of things like responding with quips).
My adoptive sister couldn’t understand that I couldn’t respond quickly to speech - which has been a lifelong problem, one that led to me undergoing countless abuses and diminutions by bullies (including within families) that have caused massive damage to my self esteem and self confidence.
One thing that did do was lead to me appreciating my abilities as a budding wordsmith, and I have long held a minor regret that I didn't pursue that further, but, then, my English teachers never gave me any of the good examples of what can be done with writing skills.
Through my writing, I was able to explore situations, motivations, principles, etc, and thus I have reached a greater understanding of how the world works (too often: badly), and what to try to do about that.
As a child in high school, I would talk and write about the fact that people had different skill sets, and favoured setting systems and situations up to favour the ones they preferred.
Thus, verbally skilled people prefer systems and interactions based on speech - e.g., phones ... which lacks a record and thus has a legal weakness, and may be plagued by performative normality.
People with writing skills, such as myself, prefer such systems - such as blogging, rather than podcasts or video options, and written forms of advocacy ... which generates "paper trails" (generally digital, these days) but can be too slow for the modern world.
And both can be ableist - verbal systems discriminate against those with hearing problems (such as myself), and written systems discriminate against those with dyslexia or other reading problems (some of which are due to sneering, abusive teachers) - despite their intelligence being fine (two of family members [one from an ex-relationship] are an excellent example of that).
The point, as far as this blog post goes, is that my verbal skills are inadequate for everyday life.
I also dislike crowds, and that means I go shopping in the early part of the day (although online shopping has been a Goddess send), struggle with many events (or attending them for long), and have had frequent migraines since I was a teenager and started masking.
Probably my biggest problem - and this is largely hidden - is executive dysfunction, especially regarding some (not all) aspects of housework. To cover the latter, I often talk about being too exhausted by work, which is an issue, but not, in truth, the main one. (Arthritis is also a real, limiting issue.)
Now, Level Two autism includes "may need school accommodations like ... social skills support".
I definitely needed, but did not receive, that at school.
There are other problems in life that I have had - and I have never received support for those from officialdom. Instead, I was fortunate enough (and that is NEVER a valid basis for designing a society or government system) to find Buddhism as a teenager, and to undergo training as a counsellor at a volunteer online service (and some insightful personal growth in various groups over the years), and that has enabled me to - mostly - cope, or to mask effectively so others did not realise how much I was struggling.
Now, in my retirement, I am finding myself in greater need of support. My family are doing what they can, but they have their own issues as well, and the aged care services are spectacularly clueless around many issues - including LGBTQIASB+, and autism.
So ... time for me to exercise those word skills again 😊
Possible flaws
Where I can, I will try to highlight possible flaws / issues you should consider:
- there may be flawed logical arguments in the above: to find out more about such flaws and thinking generally, I recommend Brendan Myers’ free online course “Clear and Present Thinking”;
- I could be wrong - so keep your thinking caps on, and make up your own minds for yourself.
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Remember: we generally need to be more human being rather than human doing, to mind our MÓ•gan, and to acknowledge that all misgendering is an act of active transphobia/transmisia that puts trans+ lives at risk & accept that all insistence on the use of “trans” as a descriptor comes with commensurate use of “cis” as a descriptor to prevent “othering” (just as binary gendered [men’s and women’s] sporting teams are either both given the gender descriptor, or neither).
#PsychicABetterWorld and may all that I do be of value and actively BPM used for and by the nonphysical BPM because #KindnessIsThePoint
Note that I am cutting back on aspects of my posts - see here, and Gnwmythr is pronounced new-MYTH-ear
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