Tuesday, 16 July 2024

Post No. 2,835 - MAJOR CHANGE OF OPINION: “Emotional Intelligence” is potentially ableist & traumatic, and errs towards conservativism (anti-progressive) [Content Warning - abuse, trauma, controversy]

For much of my adult life, I have considered “Emotional Intelligence” (EI) a good thing, as it helped with trying to get the emotional cripples that infest too many professional careers/management positions to change ... but I have now changed my position - largely because of my increased awareness of neurodivergence, which has come about because I am now aware that I am likely AuDHD.

But even while I thought EI was good, I was very much aware of those patriarchally inclined people who tried to - in my words at the time - misuse EI to reinforce being compliant with inherently abusive patriarchal work cultures.

I considered they needed to be more aware of their own emotions, which is why they were making that mistake - and that is a view I still hold to quite an extent. Such people often seem to be viewed as being patriarchal as they want - whether consciously or unconsciously - power and/or the evil known as social status, but I suspect some of it is also fear: fear of being cast out or isolated, or targetted by those who are powerful. 

That is a serious politico-social problem - particularly given recent and ongoing political events in the USA, which highlight the problem and flaw of anticipatory  obedience.

In the workplace, it highlights the problem of psychopaths. 

However, that is not why I am writing this post. 

One of the key aspects of EI is knowing and managing one’s own emotions. In much of society, despite the contraindication of the need for and existence of counselling, that is assumed to be easy - or at least feasible with modest amounts of work. 

However, that is not so. 

 

Victims of trauma often cannot easily identify and manage emotions because of what was done to them.

 

The brains of neurodivergent people are wired differently, and that can lead to not easily knowing one’s own emotions, and emotional regulation problems such as shut downs or meltdowns for reasons that are beyond their control.
(See ND links below)

 

So, in addition to those people in workplaces/social hierarchies who are using this as a tool to crush dissent/manipulate people into conformity, there are major sections of the population who cannot use that key aspect. 

While those who are not survivor-victims of trauma or who are neurotypical could potentially benefit from EI that has not been perverted into a compliance-suppression tool, the fact that it is advocated for without the essential nuance that some people cannot know and regulate their emotions - or not without major work/help - makes it, in my opinion, ableist and thus abusive.

The fact that it has been perverted at times meant I considered it capable of being misused as a conservative, in the sense of suppressing/resisting progressive change such as inclusion, tool. 

However, having now read   “If you always use these 12 phrases, you’re more emotionally intelligent than most”   https://www.cnbc.com/2024/07/02/always-use-these-phrases-youre-more-emotionally-intelligent-than-most.html   , written by one of the co-originators of EI, I consider the tool INHERENTLY anti-progressive / enforcing of conformity to current patriarchal norms. 

This may also reflect the Buddhist-influenced origins of EI, which - particularly in the west - has clear signs of toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing, in my opinion. 

What particularly concerned my in Daniel  Goleman’s article was:   

7. ‘So that’s how things work around here’   Emotional intelligence competency: Social awareness (organisational awareness)  

“How things work around here” is often abusive, coercive, and patriarchal.

Can EI still be a useful tool? Potentially yes, but ONLY after it has been adapted to be trauma informed, inclusive of neurodivergence, and radicalised away from patriarchal conformity. 

The rest of Goleman’s article has points that are worth considering, but remember to keep the broader societal and historic context in mind.



Those neurodivergent links I mentioned above are: 


Other links which may be of use / relevance: 


Possible flaws 

Where I can, I will try to highlight possible flaws / issues you should consider:

  • there may be flawed logical arguments in the above: to find out more about such flaws and thinking generally, I recommend Brendan  Myers’ free online course “Clear and Present Thinking”;  
  • I could be wrong - so keep your thinking caps on, and make up your own minds for yourself.

 

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Note that I am cutting back on aspects of my posts - see here. 

Remember: we generally need to be more human being rather than human doing, to mind our Mӕgan, and to acknowledge that all misgendering is an act of active transphobia/transmisia that puts trans+ lives at risk & accept that all insistence on the use of “trans” as a descriptor comes with commensurate use of “cis” as a descriptor to prevent “othering” (just as binary gendered [men’s and women’s] sporting teams are either both given the gender descriptor, or neither).

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