Having recently seen the film “Barbie” (which has possibly the best final line of any movie I have ever seen - or will see), the topic of feminism has been on my mind, which led to me paying particular attention to this article, from The Conversation.
The article addresses the observation that “many people remain stubbornly attached to old-fashioned gender roles in romantic relationships between women and men”.
The article reviews possible reasons for such attitudes, including the notion of “benevolent sexism” - an exercise in cognitive dissonance and many other character flaws that is nearly as egregious as the absurdist notion of benevolent slavery that is reappearing in the US state of Florida.
In my opinion, this is another manifestation of the largely fear (mostly of being victimised, but also of independence) driven problem of internalised sexism - the sort of moral ineptitude or perhaps a version of Stockholm Syndrome that results in women performing FGM, victims of bigotry and the patriarchy turning into willing agents of that evil (the worst manifestation of that was this), and mutual controlling that drags people down into equally shared self-hate and blocks any change for the better ... changes such as equal pay, women not having to stop working to have children, no female infanticide, no violence of any type against women ... even minor things like being willing to be financially independent and plan & have a life that is not built around a relationship for self worth (there were some disturbing examples of women wanting a husband to support them so they didn't have to work that I came across is some sad cases in the 70s and 80s ... and even in the 90s and 00s [well, to this day, really, but fortunately in declining numbers * ]).
That shared self-hate is so bad I have no hesitation in describing it as internalised misogyny.
The article I referenced at the start of this post points out that romance does NOT need to be based on outdated, outmoded and old-fashioned ideas that could be “problematic if it reinforces inequality between women and men in romantic relationships. We know that even subtle forms of everyday sexism and benevolent sexism are harmful to women’s wellbeing and success”.
The problem of internalised misogyny also leads to other problems, such as transmisia / transphobia.
What is the solution?
At a personal level: know thyself, moral (ethical) courage, and spiritual evolution ** .
At a societal level, anti-bigotry and active diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI).
* Some of these comments may have been before Jane Elliott said:
Females, get over ‘cute’. Get competent. Get trained. Get capable. Get over ‘cute’. And those of you who are called Patty and Debby and Suzy, get over that. Because we use those names to infantalise females – we keep females in their ‘little girl’ state by the names we use for them. Get over it. If you want to be taken seriously, get serious.
which also applies self-reliance as a principle.
** See above point.
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Vote Yes for the Voice in Australia.
Finally, remember: we generally need to be more human being rather than human doing, and to mind our Mӕgan.
